


Don't Buy the Red Strings

by tresa_cho



Category: Star Trek, The Sentinel
Genre: Action/Adventure, M/M, OFC - Freeform, Sentinel/Guide Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-08
Updated: 2013-09-10
Packaged: 2017-11-28 14:16:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/675325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tresa_cho/pseuds/tresa_cho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Narada incident forced Jim to awaken as a Sentinel. He and Leonard work to control their new powers as they fight with their changing relationship. Sentinel verse fusion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thank you to Mijan and Dommi, who were my most excellent betas. All mistakes are mine.

“Get me a BVM device!” Leonard had to shout over the chaos. A bag flew at him. The instant his fingers closed around soft plastic, his world exploded.

He could _feel_ everything. Mind-numbing agony seized his body and squeezed the air from his lungs. He gasped, choking, and staggered against the patient's bed. White lined the edge of his vision.

“Doctor McCoy. Doctor!”

Chapel's hand closed around his arm and he _burned_. He couldn't stop the hoarse cry as he shoved her back.

“Doctor. You're experiencing a classic Awakening, I need you to calm down and listen to me. Listen to my voice. I need you to calm down. Don't touch him!” Chapel barked at someone. Leonard felt a burst of anxiety flare, and he cringed away from it. “McCoy, please. Focus on me. That's it. Listen to me. Focus.”

She was a soft flicker of serenity amidst the roiling emotional devastation around him. He grasped at it desperately, and the external noise faded to a tolerable level. He exhaled shakily in relief, and his vision cleared. Chapel crouched in front of him, blocking his line of vision. “You with me, Doctor?”

“What... the hell-” Leonard managed. He swiped a hand over his face and it came away wet. He realised he was shaking. The voices were thrumming along the edge of his consciousness, threatening to undo him again.

“You are displaying symptoms of an Awakening. I have to get you into one of the Sentinel rooms, it will cut down on the feedback you're receiving-”

“Damn it, woman. I'm not a Sentinel,” Leonard said sharply. Chapel pressed her lips together and Leonard could feel her gathering her patience.

“A Guide, Doctor. If you were a Sentinel I'd be peeling you up off the floor right now and you'd be in a lot more pain.” She held up her hands, palms out in a gesture of pacifism. “I'll escort you.”

“No. I have... I have patients here that need me. I'm Chief Medical Officer, damn it. You can't take me away in a crisis!” Leonard tried to stand, but his legs shook too hard. He collapsed back to the ground, and groaned.

“Sir, you won't be able to even touch anyone like this. You need to find a Sentinel to focus on.”

“Don't tell me what to do,” Leonard said. He inhaled, trying to steady himself. Sentinels and Guides made up only about one percent of the human population. He remembered reading about them, reading about what they had done, and how impressively they worked together in teams, but he couldn't remember anything about their medical anomalies. “Isn't there something we have for these situations?”

Chapel hesitated, and that was all Leonard needed.

“Give it to me,” he ordered. Chapel scowled.

“No,” she said. Leonard blinked at her, stunned.

“Excuse me?”

“I said no,” Chapel repeated.

“That wasn't a suggestion, nurse. That was a direct order given by a superior,” Leonard said.

“You're technically a patient of mine, now, according to the Crisis Response procedures,” Chapel said. “Now we can do this one of two ways. I can either put you in that room and you can sit out this rescue mission-” Leonard opened his mouth, but she cut him off “- _or_ I can dose you with inhibitors and I will write a report on your Awakening.”

Leonard clicked his jaw shut, staring at her in wonder. “You've been around me _way_ too much,” he said, awed. She spared a smirk for him, holding up a hypo delicately between two fingers. Then she flicked her eyes towards one of the Sentinel wards. Leonard followed her gaze, and swallowed. “Fine. Administer the inhibitors and you can write your report. This is going on your record, nurse.”

“Good. I love reading about how I talked sense into my superior officers,” she said, jabbing him ungently with the hypo. He cringed, and almost instantly the drug took hold.

The voices in his mind died down to a buzz of white noise that he could easily ignore. He took a few deep breaths to steady himself, relishing the relative silence in his head. He stood, and when Chapel put a hand on his arm to steady him, her touch only caused mild discomfort.

“Thank you, nurse. Now back to your station,” Leonard said. Chapel rolled her eyes, but went back to the Vulcan she had been assisting. Leonard straightened his shirt and let his eyes sweep Medical. The refugees were all receiving care, and his eyes fell on a line of officers huddled against one of the walls, waiting their turn. Leonard stalked over to them.

Jim slumped against the wall, his eyes glazed with exhaustion. Sulu sat beside him, asleep, cradling what was most likely a broken hand from punching someone in the face. Leonard crouched in front of Jim.

“Hey,” he said. Jim said nothing, still concentrating on a piece of nothing in the air. “Jim. Hey, kid.”

Leonard reached for him, sliding his fingers along Jim's jaw for his pulse point. Hell if the kid died while sitting in his Medical Bay. A pulse beat sluggishly beneath his fingers, and Leonard curled his fingers around Jim's chin, tipping his head to look at him.

“Jim.”

Jim blinked at him, slowly focusing. He shook his head slightly, as if shaking off something. “Bones?”

“Hey kid, you all right?” Leonard squashed the niggle of worry festering in the back of his mind.

“Did you hear that?” Jim asked, confused. He glanced around, nudging Sulu out of position. Sulu slid sideways and woke with a snort.

“Ow,” he said.

“Ow,” Jim agreed. “Bones, are you ready for us yet?”

“Yeah, kid, come on.” Leonard helped Jim to his feet and led him to an empty counter. They were out of beds, and Jim said nothing while Leonard swept away loose papers to give him a place to sit. He hopped up and winced, breathing through his pain. “Where's it hurt?”

“Everywhere,” Jim said. Leonard shook his head and lifted Jim's hand where his knuckles had split. He started there, and the longer he worried Jim's hand, the more acutely he could sense where Jim's pain radiated from. “Mm, Bones, 's good.”

Jim's eyes were half-mast, weary with exhaustion and something else that Leonard couldn't quite sense. Jim leaned forward, touching his forehead to Leonard's shoulder. He sighed happily, completely relaxing. All his muscles went slack under Leonard's touch, and Leonard couldn't help but smile. “I've gotcha, kid.”

By the time they dealt with Nero the ship had been devastated. Leonard was on the floor of his office, a cool cloth over his head while he tried to block out the waves of sorrow and loss radiating out of his work center. Vulcans _felt_. They had monstrous emotions, steamrolling over everything in his conscious thought. He whimpered slightly, rolling onto his back. His arm slid off his chest onto the floor, skin cooling against unforgiving tile.

Soft footsteps and the sensation of cool compassion cut through the haze. Chapel rounded the desk and crouched by his head. She gently touched his hair, nudging it back from his forehead. “Leonard, I think you should use the room.”

“I hate everything,” Leonard said with a moan. “Why is this happening?”

Chapel plopped onto the ground, back against Leonard's desk. She stretched her legs out, just barely brushing Leonard's hair, before flicking out the lights. It wasn't much, but he felt a bit better. The migraine lessened. “Some theories say that latent Guide abilities can be Awakened when exposed to massive trauma. I can only think that being this close to the destruction of Vulcan, with the native species capable of extremely controlled emotive responses exacerbated the Guide condition. It Awakened you. It's the only think that fits all the variables.”

“I feel like shit,” Leonard said.

“We have to get you a Sentinel,” Chapel said. “Even a temporary partnering would help alleviate some of the strain. Nyota and Spock-”

“I don't want anything to do with that green blooded hobgoblin,” Leonard said, twisting to look at her. “Wait. They're-”

“Yes,” Chapel confirmed. “I believe I saw a marking on Hikaru's file as well. We could try asking him.”

“There's no 'we'. This is my problem,” Leonard said. Chapel sighed, leaned close to him to thread her fingers through his hair.

“Boss, you are extremely hard to work with sometimes, you know that right?” She pulled back, and he unconsciously followed her fingers for a beat, drawn to her soothing presence. Her nails clacked against the screen of her padd. “He's on his way down. I think he's only experienced a partial sensory Awakening, but hopefully you'll be able to center yourself.” She shifted, settling into a more comfortable position. “Once we get the Vulcans to Starfleet, it'll be easier.”

“How do you know so much?” Leonard asked. Her knowledge went beyond casual mentions in textbooks and classes.

“Um, well,” she started, “I am a Guide.”

Leonard pushed himself up on his elbows. “Come again?”

Chapel flushed and squared her shoulders. “I'm a Guide. I Awakened in elementary school. They moved me to the Institute, and I graduated with flying colours. If you'd read my file, you'd know that.”

“I don't have time to read every crew member's files,” Leonard said. His migraine flared, and he dropped back to the ground with a soft moan. Chapel hushed him.

“I'm only a three on the Sandburg scale, but that still gives me enough clout to assist Sentinels twice my level,” she said. She paused. “He's here.”

Sulu entered the office noiselessly, rounding the desk to crouch beside Chapel. He touched a quick kiss to her temple before turning his attention to Leonard.

“Hey,” Leonard said weakly.

“You don't look so good,” Sulu said. His white shirt was smudged and torn in a few places, and his hand was still bandaged from his earlier space jump. Chapel reached up and tucked a stray lock of hair behind Sulu's ears. He leaned into the touch, his features softening. “What can I do?”

“We're going to ground him,” Chapel said. She turned to Leonard. “Hikaru's a level two on the Sandburg scale, just weak enough to meet the requirements for command track. The Vulcans on board are overloading your empathetic abilities. I think you may also be at least a six, maybe a seven, on the Sandburg scale.”

Sulu whistled low. “I hope I can help.”

“Focus on Sulu, Doctor. Block out everything else,” Chapel instructed.

Easier said than done. Leonard closed his eyes. He could sense Sulu like a beacon amidst roiling waves. He was quiet, and steady, and Leonard latched onto it with everything he could muster. He heard Sulu gasp, and the calming sensation spread through his entire being. He felt Sulu's wonder, his awe at the sheer power Leonard possessed. He could feel acutely pain radiating from Sulu's hand and head.

And with Sulu, he could feel Chapel. She kept up her comforting presence, helping ease rough edges of his concentration as he calmed his mind and regained control of his own emotions.

“Good. Thank you, Sulu,” Chapel said, sometime later. Leonard opened his eyes. The lights in the main Medical had gone out to simulate night for the refugees. When he tried to sit up, he found his limbs stiffened with disuse.

“How long was I out?” he asked, forcing himself upright.

“Few hours,” Sulu said. He rolled his head, stretching. “You feel much better.”

“This is so weird,” Leonard said.

“You'll get used to it,” Chapel said. “They have classes for, erm, late bloomers.”

Sulu snickered, but stilled when Chapel shot him a dirty look. He coughed and grabbed the desk to help him stand. He helped Chapel to her feet, and they both waited for Leonard. He had just managed to straighten when the alarm rang on his desk.

“Medical emergency on the bridge,” Spock said over the comm. “I request a code team immediately.”

“Who is it, Spock?” Leonard leaned on his comm.

“It is the captain.”

Leonard's heart soared into his throat. He shoved past Sulu and Chapel towards the hall. He barely registered them following him, and grabbed his medkit on his way out the doors. Leonard made it to the bridge in record time, pushing the doors open because they slid too slowly.

“What happened?” he demanded, kneeling next to Spock. He had tipped Jim's head up and back, as if readying him for old fashioned CPR.

“He was staring at the screen and fell to the floor. No personnel were around him at the time. By the time I reached him, he had stopped breathing,” Spock said swiftly. “I cannot see evidence of an attack.”

Jim's eyes stared up unseeing, fixated on a point at the ceiling. Leonard dug his fingers into Jim's throat, feeling for a pulse. Erratic, but present. Chapel slid to her knees beside him with a bag, and he jerked it open. Together, they worked a respirator mask over his nose and mouth.

“Doctor, if I didn't know better, I would postulate that this is a case of a Sentinel Zone Out,” Spock said under his breath. Leonard jerked his head up.

“Sentinels can't be command track,” Leonard said. That much he knew.

“I am aware, Doctor,” Spock said. “He is not responding to any of my encouragements, though. Perhaps if you attempted to rouse him, you would be more successful. He has always been more receptive to your... personality.”

Leonard didn't have time to argue the point. Jim's skin was clammy under his touch, his lips tinted blue. He didn't know what to do, but he did. Instinctively, he took Jim's face in both hands and turned his head. “Jim,” he said shakily. “I need you to listen to me. I need you to come back. Listen to me. I know you can hear me. Come back, you son of a bitch.”

Chapel dropped to her knees beside them, and Leonard felt her like an arrow, honing in on Jim. She put her hands on either side of Jim's head and closed her eyes. “Keep going, Doctor. Hurry.”

“Jim, you've gotta breathe for me, kid. You didn't come all this way to die on the bridge. Come on, Jim.” Leonard dug his fingers into Jim's skin. “Come back to me.”

Jim blinked before jerking. His chest released, and he sucked in a desperate, violent gasp of air. So quick he choked and coughed. Leonard dragged him upright and gripped him close, holding Jim's head to his shoulder as he caught his breath.

“Holy shit. Holy shit,” Jim said. His hand twisted in Leonard's shirt. “Holy shit.”

“Holy shit is right,” Leonard said gruffly, threading his fingers through Jim's hair. “What the hell was that?”

Chapel opened her mouth, but Jim got there first. “I heard someone's heart. I had to focus on it. I couldn't... It was too far away and I was breathing too loudly...”

“You stopped _breathing_ because you couldn't hear something?” Leonard just barely did not yell. Barely.

“That's why Sentinels need Guides,” Chapel said. “A Zone Out can cause death from more reasons than being unaware of one's surroundings. But a Zone Out that intense... Jim, what level Sentinel are you?”

“Was never tested,” Jim said, still trying to catch his breath. He panted like he had just run a marathon, and his skin was flush where Leonard could feel it.

“You were never-” Chapel cut herself off. “You have to come with me right now.”

“No, no, it's not a big deal. I can control it,” Jim said. He trembled in Leonard's grasp.

“As your doctor, I'm ordering you to obey Nurse Chapel,” Leonard said. Jim didn't even have the energy to protest. He just relaxed against Leonard, melting into his embrace like he belonged there. “Come on.”

“I strongly suggest you two settle into the Sentinel room,” Chapel said. “It will greatly help both of you. I can get you books and papers on the Sentinel phenomenon. Please, sir.”

“All right, Chapel. I hear you,” Leonard said. He struggled to his feet, dragging Jim up with him. Jim cringed away from anyone else's touch, trying to burrow deeper against Leonard when Chapel reached for him. She drew her hand back quickly, and gestured to the doors.

She led them to the auxiliary stations they were using for refugee wards, and straight through to a secluded door. She opened it and let them step inside.

Like a light going off, Leonard's head cleared. He couldn't feel anyone else around him save Jim, worried and anxious and confused but on his feet. Leonard glanced back at Chapel, hovering in the door.

“I'll bring food 'round a bit later, and I'll send you some books to read on your padd.” She paused, uneasy. “I have to write this up, sir. Kirk's command track and he's not-”

“I understand, Nurse,” Leonard said, holding Jim just a bit tighter. “Do what you have to. Thank you.”

Chapel nodded and shut the door behind her. Within moments, Leonard's padd rang with her messages. Jim went still in his arms. Leonard pulled back just enough to see his eyes slide out of focus again. “Jim,” Leonard said, digging his fingers into Jim's arms. Jim stared through him, sightless. The death stare. “Jim, listen to me. Whatever is out there, you have to ignore it. Focus on me. Listen to my voice, Jim.”

Jim blinked at him, as if seeing him through a haze. His eyes focused, and then, to Leonard's horror, filled with tears. Jim shoved him away hard enough that Leonard staggered. The room was equipped with a desk, a chair, and a bed. Jim threw himself into the chair and hid his face in his arms. “Shit.”

“Did you know you were a Sentinel?” Leonard asked quietly.

“Yes.” Jim's voice was muffled.

“How... did you get onto command track?” Leonard asked. “How the hell did you get past my tests? How the hell did you get past the Academy's tests?”

Jim leaned back in the chair, steadfastly refusing to meet Leonard's eyes. “When my powers manifested, I was young. The... doctors that rescued us though that I wouldn't be able to handle them because of the nature of how I Awakened. They put an implant in my brain to suppress the extreme senses. It was undetectable, made out of some special alloy that human sensors can't pick up. I don't know why I suddenly...”

He paused, his eyes flicking to Leonard. Leonard sighed.

“Severe head trauma can cause the brain to shift, Jim. I remember you on the shuttle. Someone beat you pretty good. And hitting your head on that beam probably didn't help much either. Yes, I heard the stories. It's very possible that it just shook loose because you're a reckless bastard.” Leonard moved to his side, tugging his hand through Jim's hair so his head tilted up. “I've seen your concussion record.”

“What am I gonna do, Bones?” Jim asked, leaning into his touch.

“Maybe they can replace the inhibitor,” Leonard said, already knowing the answer. That sort of brain surgery... It would have been a one time response to an immediate crisis, under the consideration that Jim's life had been at risk.

“They're gonna kick me out,” Jim said, lowering his head.

“That never stopped you before,” Leonard said. “You've already proven you can run a starship. Why would this change anything?”

“Because if I zone out in the middle of a mission the entire ship is at risk,” Jim said. He lowered his head into his hands, shrugging away from Leonard. “They're going to force me into a partnership with a Guide. Someone I actually have to depend on to function on a daily basis.”

“It's not that bad, Jim,” Leonard said, his words hollow to his own ears. He crouched in front of Jim, cupping Jim's face with one hand. Jim responded not unlike a cat, leaning into the touch like he was desperate for the contact. Leonard found himself more than willing to give that touch, straightening so Jim could lean forward and rest his head on Leonard's shoulder. Leonard dipped his head into the strong curve of Jim's shoulder, inhaling Jim's scent; blood, sweat, and sandalwood.

Jim wrapped his arms around Leonard's shoulders. Leonard felt a sort of heat rise in him, the incomparable urge to protect this man, to do anything in his power to ensure he was safe. Not unlike what he had felt dragging him aboard the Enterprise, but a thousand fold. He gasped with the intensity of it, and Jim hummed along his skin. “Bones, Bones... Are you-?”

“I'm a Guide, apparently,” Leonard said. Hot. He was so hot...

“My Guide? Are you _my_ Guide, Bones?” Jim sounded panicked, putting space between them so he could see Leonard's eyes.

“How the hell do I know?” Leonard surged up, taking Jim's mouth feverishly. Jim bit back at him, gasping with the intensity of the kiss.

Jim drove him backwards and they tumbled to the floor, tearing at each others clothes. Panting, Leonard found he couldn't even loosen the ties on Jim's tunic his hands were shaking so hard. Jim huffed a noise of frustration and whipped his own shirt over his head. The sight of pale, smooth skin slammed into Leonard.

“Wait. Wait. What are we doing?” Leonard put a hand to Jim's chest. They both froze, the only sound their harsh breathing. Jim blinked, his eyes dark with want.

“I need you, Bones,” Jim said in a low voice. Leonard felt that heat creeping up again. He instinctively bucked his hips against Jim's, drawing a moan from them both. “I need you. I need you-”

“ _Gentlemen!_ ” The door slammed open to the room, and Leonard shoved Jim hard, putting distance between them. Chapel stood in the door. “If you _please_. You are disturbing the patients.”

“You said the room was soundproof,” Leonard said, trying to catch his breath. Jim refused to look at him, confusion and rejection rolling off him in waves.

“Yes, but it is not completely emotion-proof. His heightened state of arousal is affecting the Vulcans.” Chapel jerked her head towards Jim, who had curled in on himself on the floor. Leonard gaped at her. She cast a glance over her shoulder before stepping into the room and shutting the door. “He's trying to bond, Leonard.”

“What. The _fuck_. Is going on here?” Leonard ground out. “What is he, an animal?”

“No, Leonard. Just- Look, I need you to read the literature. It explains everything. I'm going to sedate him to keep the refugees calm,” Chapel said as she moved towards Jim. Leonard wasn't prepared for the surge of protectiveness that welled in him, filling his throat.

He snatched the hypo from Chapel's hand. She held up her hands. “Leonard. I'm just going to let him sleep peacefully. Understand?”

He glanced at the hypo, and back to Chapel.

“Can I have it back, Leonard?” she asked softly. “Please?”

She was talking to him as if he were going to snap. He handed the hypo to her, sliding back to get some distance. Chapel kept an eye on him as she delivered the sedative. Leonard felt, rather than saw, Jim relax into the floor as the drug took effect.

“Okay?” Chapel held up her hands again as she stood. “Can I get you anything, Doctor?”

“No, no,” Leonard said. He fetched up against the wall and stared at her. “I'll just, um, read. What you sent me.”

“You'll be all right, Leonard,” Chapel said. “I know you will.”

She smiled and turned to go.

“Nurse.” Leonard called after her. She paused and turned. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome, Leonard. I know it's hard. I've had twenty years and it's still hard some days.” She slipped out quietly, closing the door behind her.

Leonard tipped his head backwards against the wall and closed his eyes, trying to gather himself. He didn't know what had come over him. Jim drew him in, like a planet around a black hole, inescapable and irresistible. He wasn't sure what Jim meant by 'my Guide', but he knew that he would sooner die than let anyone near Jim.

Grabbing his padd, he carefully crawled to where Jim sprawled on the floor. He curled himself around Jim's unconscious form, and tucked his head up on Jim's shoulder. He propped the padd up on one of Jim's outstretched arms and queued one of Chapel's articles to read. He lost himself in the words while Jim's peaceful breathing kept him grounded.

...*...

Leonard could feel the difference when the Vulcans left. Their pain and sorrow seemed to cling to them like a low cloud. He caught a few tendrils of it as he moved around what was left of (now) his Medical Bay. Nothing as overwhelming as when he first... Awoke.

The reading had been enlightening. There wasn't much in the realm of medical studies regarding the bond between Sentinel and Guide, but there were volumes of spiritual references and treatises on the proper treatment and handling of Sentinels. The original article on the Sandburg scale, written by Blair Sandburg himself, detailed a system of identification for Sentinel strength. One being the weakest, with only moderate heightened sensory abilities, usually a single sense, and ten being the strongest, a Sentinel who possessed expanded sensory capacity of all five senses.

Fives and lower could function in a civilian capacity without the help of Guides. Sentinels level six or higher tended to become clinically unstable and display frequent zone outs, requiring the use of a Guide.

Jim already showed heightened response to sound. Leonard wondered if he was just exceptionally strong in that one area, or if he had the ability to expand all his senses like the original Sentinel. They had hustled Jim off the ship early that day, sedated and under strict security. Nobody was allowed to see him, and the longer Leonard was away from him, the more agitated he got.

Besides being a Guide, he was Jim's doctor, damn it all. Jim had some sort of device in his head that was evidently rattling around, possibly pressing on important folds in his brain structure. He had to figure out what it was, and if it needed to be removed. They couldn't keep him away from Jim. It was against doctor-patient protocol.

Chapel moved silently around him all day, trying to soothe his emotions while finishing up their docking tasks. Leonard was on auto-pilot, doing the post mission checks without truly seeing. His thoughts kept wandering back to Jim.

“Hey.” Chapel cut into his thoughts softly. “I'll help you see him once we're planet side.”

The relief that weakened his knees was a complete overreaction. “Thank you.”

She pressed her lips together, and Leonard noticed she was paler than usual. “You feeling all right, Chapel?”

She gave a hesitant smile, but it was weak and unconvincing. “It's just that...” she started, “If Jim is as strong as I think he is, there's a chance Starfleet may reassign him to Covert Ops. With a level ten Guide.”

“I might be a level ten,” Leonard said. “We won't know till I take the tests.”

Chapel shook her head. “You're strong, but you're not a ten, Leonard. If you were, you'd be on the ground.”

“Great,” Leonard said. “Just great. Of course Jim Kirk would be a ten.”

“I didn't say he was a ten,” Chapel said. “Though he displays level ten characteristics. We won't know till he takes the tests either.”

“We're people, damn it, not numbers,” Leonard said, pushing a hand through his hair in frustration. “When can I get off this tin can?”

“I'm done.” Chapel handed him her checklist. “Will you be all right going down?”

“Fine. I'll be fine,” Leonard said, waving her away. “Begone with you, woman, leave started an hour ago.”

She laughed and removed her apron, laying it on a counter before leaving. Leonard felt her presence moving further and further away from Medical. He finished up the last of his own checks, and submitted the data to headquarters. Finished, he swapped out his shoes for his dress attire, and made his way to the shuttle bay to catch the next flight down. Terra firma. Home sweet home.

He was mistaken. He was not fine. The shuttle ride down was the most miserable, uncomfortable transport he had ever suffered, including that god-awful trip to San Fransisco, hung over and depressed. Every bump they hit in atmo jolted him in his chair, and sloshed the heady emotions swimming in the air. Anticipation, anxiety, fear, anger, sorrow... All of it in a tight, enclosed space was enough to make him feel sick.

And he got sick. About three steps away from the shuttle doors. He bent over his knees and retched onto the finely cut, San Franciscan grass.

A hand pressed to his back and he was hit with a violent wave of repressed anxiety that drove him to his knees. He smacked the arm away and just barely heard a call for a doctor.

“I am a doctor!” Leonard grunted. “Don't touch me.”

The person backed off. Leonard vaguely recognised him as a cadet from Engineering. He recognised Boardman's stitches in the cadet's forehead more concretely.

With the distance, he was more sure of himself, and was able to drag himself into the Academy Infirmary. Luckily, the nurse at the front desk knew him, and had been briefed on his change in... condition.

“Come with me, Doctor,” she said. She stood and led him through the halls, towards the back end of campus, away from people. Away from noise. Away from the mind-numbing crush of emotion. “Here you are. We've moved your office further back in the ward, so that you can have peace while working. We've installed buffers in the walls of this office, to filter the emotional output from the campus. It should suit your needs.”

Leonard fought down the instinctive urge to yell at this woman for rearranging his things. This sort of precaution was necessary now. He couldn't function. He...

“Dismissed, thank you, nurse,” Leonard said. The nurse nodded and left Leonard standing in the doorway of his new office, sequestered from everyone.

He was more connected than he had ever been in his life, but he had never felt so alone.

He made his way to his desk and checked his messages. The first on his screen was a missive to appear before his advisor with regards to his Awakening. The second was a digital invitation to view the campus of the Sanctuary, an institute dedicated to the orientation and grounding of new Sentinels and Guides. Apparently they specialised in... late bloomers. The third was an email from a place called the Institute, the place Chapel had mentioned.

With a scowl he closed out all the messages, tossing his padd onto the floor. He leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes. He could still feel them, humming in his consciousness like a kicked nest of bees. And just as prickly. He wanted to curl up under his desk and ignore everything, but his advisor had instructed him to meet immediately upon touching down.

Standing, he straightened his uniform and slicked his hair back. He wasn't settled, not by a long shot, but the nausea had abated and his head was a bit clearer. On the way to his advisor's office, he stayed on the outskirts of campus, trying to avoid major student areas.

His advisor, Doctor Richard Taque, managed the Academy hospital. “Come in, Leonard,” he said brusquely, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk. Leonard sat. “Heard you had quite the adventure up there.”

“That's one way of putting it,” Leonard said.

“How do you feel?” Dr Taque asked.

“Off balance, sick, cranky, annoyed,” Leonard answered honestly.

“So nothing's changed, then?” Dr Taque smiled and leaned back in his chair. Leonard smirked and rolled his eyes. “I'm not going to lie to you, Leonard. This makes things difficult. I know you stepped in for Dr Puri. The Enterprise was your assignment, but with your Awakening I'm not sure I can keep you as Chief Medical Officer. It's very hard for Guides to maintain positions of authority due to their particular... nature.”

“What exactly does that mean?” Leonard asked. “Am I being reassigned or not?”

“As of right now, you're on medical leave,” Dr Taque said, waving a leave form. “I'm putting you on until we have a better handle on the nature of your abilities. You are to report to the Sanctuary as soon as your post-mission paperwork is complete. Starfleet will pay for everything on the condition you return to us after you graduate. That's what I can give you.”

“I want the Enterprise, Richard,” Leonard said.

“Ah yes, I was briefed on your excursion into smuggling stowaways. If the reports are correct, Cadet Kirk will not be receiving a command order. Sentinels can't captain ships,” Dr Taque said. “I'm sorry, Leonard. There's a high chance he won't even be on the Enterprise. Covert Ops might take him. I honestly don't know what's going to happen. I would do my best to put him out of your mind for now.”

“Put him-” Leonard sputtered. “That's my best friend you're talking about. I can't just pretend he never existed. Can I see him?”

“He will also be enrolled in Sanctuary, effective immediately. He's en route as we speak. You may run into him, or not.” Dr Taque pushed the leave forms at him. “I need you to sign those.”


	2. Chapter 2

Leonard picked up the papers and skimmed them. Ordinary medical leave forms. Not even a mention of Guides or Sentinels. He signed them and tossed them onto the desk. Dr Taque gathered them up and handed him another form. “This is a notice of Awakening for our files. It labels you as a Guide in our system and automatically registers you in the International Sentinel/Guide database. Once you get your assigned level, that will be entered with your profile.”

The form was a single page, stating that he acknowledged he displayed Guide tendencies and was duty bound to assist Sentinels in whatever form possible. There was a place for his signature, and directly under it for his Guide level. He signed reluctantly, under Dr Taque's scrutiny.

“Thank you. Is there anything I can do for you?” Dr Taque took the page back and added it to his file. “Any questions you have?”

“No,” Leonard said, unwilling to submit himself to more torturous 'what ifs' and future possibilities. Never seeing Jim again... The thought twisted something deep in his core, something he hadn't felt in a long while. Not since Joce.

“Congratulations, Leonard. This will be exciting, I'm sure.” Dr Taque stood and held out his hand. Leonard stood as well and reached for the handshake. The instant his fingers closed around the man's hand, a wave of sickening lust flooded through him. There was a girl outside. A girl he wanted. Wanted badly enough to hold her down-

Leonard jerked his hand back with a gasp. Dr Taque narrowed his eyes.

“All right, Doctor?” he asked. Leonard swallowed hard and stepped away from the desk.

“Fine. I'm fine. I have to... go.” Leonard tripped over his feet in his haste, and made it to the door without a backwards glance. In the lobby, he caught sight of the girl and heat rose in him. He waited until nobody was paying attention and moved to the desk she sat at. “Hey.”

She looked up over the rims of her glasses. “Good afternoon. Can I help you?”

“Look, I want you to make sure you're never alone with Dr Taque,” Leonard said without preamble. She looked startled, and frowned.

“I don't-”

“Trust me,” Leonard said. “Take security with you, or one of your friends, but don't let him get you anywhere alone.”

“I'm going to tell you right now that the only reason I'm not calling security is because you're in uniform,” she said slowly. Her hand hovered over the security alert button. “I suggest you move along.”

Leonard pressed his lips together but took the hint. He made his way back to his office to start packing. He could at least keep up on the crew while he was locked away in some retreat. The padds locked down once off campus, but if he knew Jim they'd be able to hack the system in no time.

Mission reports sent in, he didn't even have to return to his dorm to get clothes. He was already packed from his deployment to the Enterprise. He shouldered his bag and made his way to the shuttle service at the far end of campus. Taque's sticky lust stayed with him until he was forced to sit beside another cadet in the shuttle. Her mind was awash in anxiety, and a thin tendril of pain radiated out from her arm.

“Relax,” Leonard said, unable to take it anymore. She squeaked, surprised, and glared at him. “What happened to your arm?”

“I slammed it against a station during the attack on the Enterprise,” she said, rubbing it. “It's just a bruise, nothing serious.”

“I was on the Enterprise too,” he said.

“I know,” she said. “Doctor Leonard McCoy. Chief Medical Officer. Everyone knows you.”

Leonard wasn't sure what to say to that. “Right. After Puri, of course.”

She nodded. “After Puri. I'm glad we were able to stop Nero. Kirk made the right decision.”

Leonard snorted. “I don't know if 'right' would be the word I'd use. 'Pig-headed'? Maybe even 'dumb'. I think 'dumb' would be a good word for it.”

“Dumb or not, it saved everyone,” she said, sliding down in her chair. “I hope they can lift his probation. Seems proper, after him saving the world and everything.”

“Probably,” Leonard said. “He won't get a ship.” She glanced at him.

“Come again?”

“He can't have a ship. He's a Sentinel,” Leonard said. Her eyes went wide.

“That's no reason to deny him command,” she said, sitting up straighter and squaring her shoulders. She whipped out her padd. “I know Sentinels aren't even supposed to be on command track, but he's proven he can handle it. There's got to be some way around it.” She looked up, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “I'm Areel Shaw, by the way.”

“Introducing myself at this point would be redundant,” Leonard said, “but pleased to make your acquaintance.” He returned her flash of a smile, feeling settled for the first time in days.

“Give me your padd ID so I can send you these links on Sentinel rights and regulations,” she said. He gave it to her, and she began sending articles to his padd. “It's ridiculous that they think they can keep him from command after he'd already been in command. It'd be like revoking your license after you've performed a surgery successfully.”

The shuttle docked, and Leonard stood. “Sorry, this is my stop.”

Areel noted the stop, and her eyes went wide again. “You're- Are you-?”

“I'm a Guide,” he admitted, waving his hand towards the Sanctuary grounds. She looked excited.

“Stay in touch. I mean it. We can take care of this,” she said. “You saved the world. That has to count for something.”

Leonard nodded, waving good bye as he stepped off the shuttle. The doors closed behind him and the vehicle pulled away. Before it had even left his sight, he received a ping on his padd from Areel. ' _Don't forget!_ '

He shook his head and laughed, stuffing the padd into his bag as he walked towards the Sanctuary doors. Might as well just see what all this was about.

The lobby of the facility was clean and well lit, a pleasant aroma drifting in from the wards that split down the halls. Leonard walked up to the desk and waited for the receptionist to notice him. She smiled up at him. “You must be Leonard McCoy. Pleased to have you. My name is Nancy and I will check you in and show you to your rooms if you give me just one moment.”

She entered something into the computer in front of her and stood, motioning for him to follow her. His room was sparse but comfortable. A bed, a desk, a chair, and his own private bathroom. Nancy left him quietly. He tossed his duffel on the bed and realised with a start that he couldn't feel anything.

His head was silent for the first time in days. His own thoughts rolled in his mind, spreading out from the cramped space they had been forced into by the solid press of everyone around him. He exhaled in relief, and stood for a moment, just relishing in the silence.

He heard voices talking in the hall, in the low hush that was meant to be secret. Moving to the doorway, he leaned against it and could just barely make out a few words. Those words being 'Kirk', 'zone out', and 'hours'.

He flew from the room, catching the arm of someone in a lab coat at the end of the hall. “Say that again?” he asked.

“Who are you?” the man asked. His eyes flicked to Leonard's chest. “You don't have ID.”

“You've received a newly Awakened Sentinel, Jim Kirk,” Leonard said. The man nodded. “I'm his primary physician. What's happened?”

“He's gone into a zone out and we can't pull him out of it,” the man, Doctor Martin Landon from his name badge, said.

“For how long?”

“Almost four hours now,” Landon said, dragging his hand through his hair. “We don't have a Guide in the facility that is strong enough to help him.”

“Not strong enough?” The man to Landon's right, Doctor Friedrich Hein, gave a short laugh. “We've tried a level six Guide, who is more than capable of assisting even a level ten Sentinel. He's completely non-responsive. Landon refuses to acknowledge that a nascent bond may have formed, preventing Kirk from accepting the aid of a house Guide.”

“He couldn't have formed a bond,” Landon argued. “He's only been Awake for a few days. Bonds can take months to even develope-”

“Look at the evidence in front of you, Landon,” Hein cut in. “A level six couldn't reach him. He zoned out as soon as he left the campus. He must have formed a tentative bond with someone at the Academy-”

“Can you take me to him?” Leonard said sharply. “Instead of just dicking around?”

“Under medical confidentiality I'm afraid I can't. He's resting,” Landon assured him. “We've got him on a few IVs and he's comfortable-”

“He's _comfortable_?” Leonard burst. “He's not dyin'! I'm his god damn doctor. I'm responsible for his physical and mental health under all every single medical provision recorded in history, and if you've got him in a comatose state somewhere in this facility I damn well need to know about it!”

“Calm down, sir, please.” Landon actually winced, taking a step back. He glanced at Hein. “Did you feel that? Sir, are you a Guide?”

Leonard scowled. “I'm a doctor, damn it. I'll only ask one more time. Where is he?”

Landon and Hein shared a glance. Hein lifted his eyebrows at Leonard. Landon shrugged. “It can't hurt,” Landon said.

Just before Leonard was about to punch one of the two sorry excuses for trained professionals when Landon stepped aside and gestured down the hall. Leonard fell into step behind them, seething at their utter incompetence, as they led him towards Jim.

Sound died away. Leonard could hear his footsteps as they moved further into the facility. Nobody really noticed how many common sounds make up the white noise of every day life until they were gone. Leonard felt like someone had shoved cotton into his ears. His own breathing was loud.

“He's in here, sir,” Landon said, holding open a door. Leonard spared a second to glare at the man before entering the room.

A white noise machine hummed quietly in one corner. The shades were drawn, and Leonard had to pause a few moments to let his eyes adjust. Jim lay in a modified biobed. Leonard approached, and ran his fingers along the fabrics. A smooth, silk sort of natural fiber meant to cut down on skin irritation covered him. His eyes were open, the thousand yard stare aimed at the ceiling.

“Jim,” Leonard said. He tried to keep his voice as low as he could, but it still sounded too loud in the oppressive silence. He slid carefully onto the bed, reaching for Jim's arm. It was cool to touch. Resting indeed. His core temperature was slipping, even a moron could tell that. “Oh, Jim.”

He sat, running his hand along Jim's arm, massaging warmth back into it. Jim stared, and Leonard tried to crush the growing helplessness rising in him. At least he was breathing this time. Leonard grasped Jim's hand and let his other move along Jim's chest, relishing the steady rise and fall. “Jim... It'd be great if you could snap out of this. I know you don't want to be here, but they stuck me here too.” Leonard exhaled shakily. “It'd be nice to have someone to bitch to.”

Unsure what to do, Leonard kicked off his shoes and pulled his legs up on the bed. He took Jim's hand in both of his and began to hum. It was a soft song, one he used to murmur to Joce when she was sick. It had always helped her sleep through her discomfort. He hummed, and kept an eye on Jim's drips while he sat.

The room had no clock or watch for him to tell how much time had passed, but his neck was starting to go stiff when Jim stirred. Leonard held his breath. Jim's fingers twitched in his, closing hard around his hand. “Bones...”

Leonard had never been so happy to hear that nickname. Gripping Jim's hand painfully tight, he met Jim's eyes. “You look like shit,” Leonard said in his softest voice possible. Jim cracked a smile.

“You're no pageant winner yourself,” he said, voice cracking. Leonard freed one hand to grab a glass of water from the bedside table. He helped Jim sit up and take a few careful sips, ignoring how Jim's hands shook around the glass. “What happened?”

“You had a Zone Out,” Leonard said. “A long one.”

“How long?” Jim sighed and leaned against the slightly upraised pillow. Leonard let his hand fall to Jim's thigh, squeezing gently.

“Over four hours.”

Jim's face went white. Leonard had to help him return the glass to the bedside table, the shaking was so bad. Leonard reached for Jim's hand. Jim gripped him back, painfully tight. “Bones, get me out of here,” he said.

Sighing, Leonard let his other hand close over Jim's arm. “They're going to help you, Jim.”

“They're not,” Jim countered, trying to push back the covers on the bed. Leonard gently but firmly held him down, getting to his feet to give him more leverage. “You don't understand, Bones. They're going to stick all these things in me and run tests and mess with my head and-”

“Calm down, Jim,” Leonard said. “No one is going to perform a procedure that you don't consent to, pure and simple. That's why I'm here.”

Jim sank back against the bed, his fingers digging into Leonard's skin as if Leonard was the only thing keeping him from falling apart.

“Hey, d'you trust me, kid?” Leonard asked quietly. Jim wouldn't meet his eyes.

“I trust you, Bones. It's _them_ I don't trust.”

“Look at me,” Leonard ordered. Jim let his eyes slowly find Leonard's. “Do you trust me?”

“I said yes,” Jim said, irritated.

“Nothing will happen to you,” Leonard said. He cupped Jim's face with one hand. “I promise. I'm a, what, Guide person, right? That means I make sure that you're safe, just like we always done. Nothing changes.”

A shadow of Jim's smile flickered across his lips. “Your accent gets stronger when you're emotional,” he said.

Leonard scowled and playfully cuffed Jim behind the ear. Jim moved with it, and Leonard's heart, honest to god, skipped when he got a chuckle out of Jim. Jim mirrored Leonard's hold on his head, drawing them together. He rested his forehead against Leonard's.

Jim drew back as the door to his room opened quietly, revealing Landon and Hein. They paused in the doorway. “Told you,” Hein said without an ounce of shame.

Landon scowled and shook his head. When he entered the room, however, any trace of impatience with his colleague vanished. “Glad you could join us, Mr Kirk. How do you feel?” Landon asked, standing a proper distance away, at the foot of the bed.

“Like someone ran over me with a forklift,” Jim said. He drew his legs up, creating a barrier between him and the doctor. Leonard sat down on the bed next to Jim, trying to lend what support he could.

“Any particular sensory acuteness? Or just a general feeling of discomfort?” Landon asked.

“General, right now,” Jim said. “My head is pounding.”

Landon nodded sympathetically. “I do have a mild painkiller with me, in the event you needed it.”

Reaching out with the hypo, Landon pressed it to Jim's throat with the speed of experience. Leonard's arm shot out at the same time Jim jerked away, and they managed to knock the hypo away. It fired harmlessly into the pillow, and Leonard leaned over Jim to shove Landon back, away.

“I'm sure you have his medical records,” Leonard said in a low voice. “And that you've gone over them and know that he is allergic to acetaminophen.”

Landon looked shocked. “That's... That's ridiculous. Nobody is allergic to acetaminophen.”

“Well, James Kirk isn't 'nobody',” Leonard said. Jim's hand found its way to the back of Leonard's shirt. “Read his god damn chart before storming in here with sedatives.”

“Thank you, sir, your assistance is no longer necessary,” Landon said. “If you're a visiting physician, you'll need to see the front desk for a Visitor's badge. Hein will be more than happy to escort you to the lobby-”

“I'm a Guide,” Leonard said. “I recently Awakened and I arrived here today.”

“Excellent. We'll put you through orientation immediately,” Landon said. “We can take it from here.”

“Obviously you can't,” Leonard countered. “You almost administered a reactive agent to my patient. Good god, man. I could have your license.”

Landon bristled, pulling his shoulders back. “I appreciate the concern, sir, but you no longer have authority to be here. You are technically one of the Sanctuary's tenants and under my jurisdiction.”

“If I'm under your supervision, I'm going to sign my release forms,” Leonard said. He opened his mouth to continue his tirade, but Jim's hand closed around his arm.

“Stand down, Bones,” Jim said. Leonard scowled, but said nothing. “It's all right. You can get settled. This hasn't been easy for you either.”

Landon gestured to the door expectantly. Leonard glared as he stood and slipped his shoes on.

“If these yahoos give you any trouble, I'm right down the hall,” Leonard said. “You check everything they give you, hear me?”

Jim nodded, lips pressed into a fine line. He gripped his bedsheets in tight fists, and Leonard gave him one last hair ruffle before Landon escorted him out.

The light was blinding in the hall. He squinted, and Landon nudged him forward. “As you can see, the Sentinels are kept in a low traffic environment to help prevent Zone Outs. Each room is equipped with light control, a white noise machine, and the smoothest fabrics known to the universe. We import them from the planet Altruidia, home of the finest weavers in the Federation. We know what we're doing here, Doctor.”

“I'm sure you do,” Leonard said. “Sorry if I don't believe in this... mystical psychic bond crap that everyone keeps talking about. It's a little hard to swallow when it's applied to me.”

“I understand your frustrations, sir, but we provide a complete course on orienting new Guides such as yourself. While you're with us, you'll learn to become comfortable with your new empathetic powers, and we will partner you with an appropriate Sentinel so that you can both grow into a team together.” Landon paused at the start of the hall to Leonard's room. “I never did catch your name.”

“Tough,” Leonard said. “This partnership you mention. How is that determined?”

“An ideal partner will be determined for you based on your Sandburg level and empathetic compatibility,” Landon said. “After your placement, we'll introduce you to a few of our applicable Sentinels, and we'll take it from there. I assume this is your room, with the unpacked duffel?”

Leonard nodded irritably. He didn't want to let this man into the only semi-personal space he had left, but he had no choice.

Landon followed him into the room and immediately pulled his chart from the folder on the wall. “Well, Doctor Leonard H McCoy,” Landon said slowly and deliberately, “it appears that you will begin with your Sandburg testing tomorrow morning after breakfast.”

“What's involved in the test? Physical? Intellectual? Are you going to shave my head and stick me with electrodes?” Leonard folded his arms over his chest.

“I understand that this is uncomfortable for you, Doctor McCoy, but you will find it advantageous to drop the sarcasm and listen to the planned regimen. Think of this as a vacation. A time to relax, get in touch with your inner peace, and learn to get along with other people.”

“I get along with intelligent people just fine,” Leonard said.

Landon sighed. “You're going to be partnered with someone whether you like it or not. A Guide as strong as you needs to have a Sentinel to focus on or you'll go mad with everyone's emotions. The sooner you get used to the idea, the easier it will be for everyone.”

“Wait. A Sentinel? Just one?” Leonard asked.

“Sentinels and Guides function strictly as a pair once their abilities are powerful enough to debilitate them. You would fall under that category, as would Kirk. It will be necessary for the two of you to form respective bonds.” Landon replaced Leoanrd's chart.

“When do we begin this... bonding?” Leonard asked. Landon paused a moment, and then shook his head.

“Oh, no, no. You won't be placed with Kirk. Just a casual review of Kirk's report shows he's at least an eight. There is a good probability that he is higher. I'd put you at a five or six right now. Powerful, but not overly. You're both Starfleet, Kirk will be partnered with a Guide of equal level to him.”

The only thing Leonard could feel was his stomach dropping out. “Come again?”

“Starfleet prefers their strongest Sentinels paired with equally strong Guides. They base their team designations on the strength of the Sentinel. A level ten Guide will naturally be able to assist a level ten Sentinel much more effectively,” Landon said.

“You're going to stick Jim with some curly haired hippie yoga master?” Leonard burst. Anger he was prepared for, but the flush of fear that curled around his throat was unexpected. He stepped forward, and Landon took an unconscious step backwards, backing against the wall. “You can't cut me off like that. He's a good man in need of decent care and if you shove him off onto some unsuspecting sap I guarantee you will not enjoy the consequences.”

“Okay, Doctor, please calm down.” Landon winced and held up a cautionary hand. “You are projecting and it's uncomfortable.”

“Good, maybe you'll feel a fraction of what Jim's going through,” Leonard said. “He's already lost _everything_. He's off command track, they're going to take his ship away, he can't even control his own senses, and there's a damn good chance he could slip into a coma at any time. You've taken away his crew, his home, his life, and now you want to take away the only person who's stood by him? He's terri-”

Leonard froze, something like iron bands squeezing around his lungs. Jim was terrified.

Landon was plastered against the wall, pinching the bridge of his nose in pain. Leonard stormed past him, but Landon caught his arm before he made it to the hall.

“McCoy! Even if you have a nascent bond, it's best to let it dwindle,” Landon said, his grip scalding through Leonard's shirt. Leonard tore his arm free. “The faint connection, if it does exist, can eventually fade. Kirk's already got his orders. He's set for a bonding event next week, after testing with the Guide they're shipping in from Tokyo.”

“He arrived comatose,” Leonard said, “and you've already scheduled him a bonding event?”

“As soon as Starfleet got the report they issued the order,” Landon said. “Your orders came through too. As soon as we determine your level, we'll pair you up with one of our Sentinels in need of a bond.”

A soft chime rang in the hall. Landon's eyes flicked up.

“That's the curfew. I'll leave you to rest. Good luck with your training, Doctor.” Landon gave a nod before leaving, quickly.

Leonard scowled at him, and slammed the door after Landon had gone. Shaking, he grabbed his duffel and yanked the zipper open. His personal effects fell across the modest twin bed.

There was nothing to do but sleep. He may as well try and settle in before this testing bullshit started. He went through his evening routine, taking deep breaths to calm himself.

He didn't sleep much that night, and when he did, his dreams were full of terror and the thunderous beat of a heart.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of this is pretty un-edited. I thought I was going to be able to finish it, but I don't have the time. I am posting the rest of this in the hopes to give some of you who stuck around some closure to the story, and thank you for staying with me for so long.

Leonard was a solid eight.

He stared at the paper in his hands, still trying to scrub off some [petroleum] jelly they had slicked his skin with before running him through the last deep tissue scan. “What did Jim score?” he asked.

Hein sat at the desk across from him, his fingers steepled under his chin. “I can't tell you that, under confidentiality procedure,” he said.

Leonard glared at him. Hein sighed.

“Mr Kirk is still finishing up his assessments, but all results seem that he is a level ten,” Hein said. “Look, I'm going to level with you, Doctor. I think you and Kirk have formed an unconscious, [beginning] bond. Starfleet is already working on Kirk to try and help him reject the bonding with you after I voiced my concerns. We do happen to have an unbonded level eight on site, and I think you two will get on well. It's in your best interests to try and distance yourself from Kirk for the time being, until you both settle.”

“I don't understand,” Leonard said. “Every article I've read hints that the Sentinel-Guide bonds are the same as being married. Why would Starfleet try and break that up if there's evidence of a bond forming?”

“Because they also know that unconsummated bonds can still be dissolved without much fuss,” Hein said. “I'm in your corner, McCoy, but you've got the entire administration up against you. Anyone with eyes can see you're already deeply connected, bond notwithstanding. Quite frankly, Starfleet doesn't give a rat's ass.”

“Thanks,” Leonard said. “But that and two cents will get me a whole bucket o'nothin', like my grandma used to say. Is there anything I can do?”

“Keep your head down, try to ignore anything that might be coming from him. We're going to put you through a few classes on controlling your gift. Your Sentinel partner will be Ariella Hughes. She's already been through the basics of her training, so she should be able to work with you despite your recent Awakening.” Hein took the paper back from Leonard and placed it into a folder labeled with Leonard's name. “Do you have any questions that I can answer?”

“No,” Leonard said, slumping down in his chair.

“Your first class will introduce you to your partner. They're out back in the courtyard,” Hein said. “First door on your left once you exit this office. And McCoy!”

Leonard turned, one foot in the hall already.

“Don't let her bite you,” Hein said with a sly grin.

“What?” Leonard gaped, but Hein just waved at him, dismissing him. Leonard let the door close behind him, and hoped that teeth would not be involved in this bonding thing.

 

Ariella shushed him as they moved to get their trays. “Um, I do have to ask you about the other woman,” she said once they had gotten their food and picked a table.

“What other woman?” Leonard asked, a chill running up his spine. How could she possibly know about Joce?

“You have a tentative bond with another Sentinel,” she said around a mouthful of salad. Yes, actual greens, not a block of protein. “Tell me about her?”

“Him.” Leonard cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Tell me about him.” Ariella didn't even blink.

“He, um...” Leonard didn't even know where to start. The beginning, he supposed. “He was the only other person on the transport who was utterly out of sorts like me. Joining Starfleet because he didn't have anything left, or, as I found out later, for the challenge.” He smiled. “He's a royal pain in the ass.”

“Sound like,” Ariella said. Her eyes flicked up from his face and she smirked. “You have hay in your hair.”

Leonard scowled, brushing the hay out with a quick ruffle. She laughed.

The next day was much like the first. He met with Ariella in the morning, and they sat through some annoyingly zen exercises. In late afternoon they parted to attend Guide and Sentinel classes respectively. Leonard learned that Sandburg was actually the first recorded Guide, not just an egghead. He learned that wars had been fought over Guide ownership, and there were weapons in the universe that caused mass zone outs. He learned how to respond to any Sentinel in a crisis, and as he got to know Ariella better, he learned how to help her ease her senses.

...*...

“This is him?” Ariella's voice came from the doorway.

Leonard watched as she entered the room and stood at the foot of Jim's bed. She had thrown a robe over her sleepwear, and she looked wan in the pale light of the room.

“He's cute,” she said without much enthusiasm. “I can see why you like him.”

“It's not like that,” Leonard said with a sigh. “We've been through a lot together. We both got on that shuttle three years ago with nothing but ourselves. Thank you, by the way. Did you hear us?”

“No,” Ariella said. “I felt your distress. I had to come find you. Lucky you were right across the hall. Are you all right?”

Leonard shook his head with a snort. Was _he_ all right? He wasn't the one who had drowned in his bath. “I'll be fine once this whole thing is sorted,” he said. “I can't stop worrying about him.”

“That's natural, with a nascent bond,” Ariella said. “You'll get used to it, and it will fade once he connects with another Guide.”

Leonard had no right to feel the surge of jealousy arise at the thought of Jim connecting with someone else. He tightened his grip on Jim's hand, steadfastly not meeting Ariella's eyes.

“It's all right, Leonard, I understand,” Ariella said. “This isn't the first time I've seen Starfleet break up a forming bond.”

Their attention shifted when one of the Sanctuary's doctors walked into the room, followed by a striking Japanese woman. Leonard stood, and Ariella moved to his side.

“Thank you, Doctor McCoy, you can return to your room and try to get some rest,” the doctor said, patience oozing with every word.

“But-”

“Ah, Doctor, your health is of utmost importance. We do have trained professionals on site to help handle situations like this. Thank you for your assistance, but you are free of any medical obligations to Mr Kirk,” the doctor said.

Ariella put a hand on Leonard's arm, and he fought back the instinct to shrug it off. This was _his_ Jim. His responsibility, from the moment the kid sat down next to him on that shuttle. Jim was his.

“You're projecting,” the woman behind the doctor said.

Ariella's grip on Leonard's arm tightened, and Leonard tried to reel himself in like they had been taught. Focusing on the warm glow of Ariella behind him, and pulling himself free of Jim with extreme reluctance. He let Ariella lead him from the room, not letting himself look back. If he did, he'd never leave.

“Do you need me?” Ariella asked when they had reached the junction between the Guide quarters and the Sentinel quarters.

Leonard felt raw, the edges of his mind rubbed bloody by walking away from Jim, leaving him in such a vulnerable state. He needed the comfort, more than anything right now. He needed to be with Jim, but he couldn't. Never before had he felt such a desperate _need_ to be with Jim.

“Okay, okay. I'll stay with you tonight,” Ariella said quietly. She ran her thumb over Leonard's cheek, and he realised with a hot flush of embarrassment he was crying. “Hush. Focus on me.”

Leonard let himself be led back to his room, and they collapsed on the bed together. Ariella curled at his side, and he shifted onto his back, staring at the ceiling. She touched one hand to his heart and rested her head on his shoulder.

“I'll keep my robe on,” she said after a moment of awkward silence.

Stress forced a chuckle out of Leonard. This whole situation was completely ridiculous. He yearned for his best friend in ways he didn't even know he could feel, and he was lying in bed with a twenty something who could hear his heart beat.

“Close your eyes. Kirk will be okay. You saved him. His Guide is here. She'll watch over him. You've helped him so much, Leonard.” Ariella whispered into his ear. “You've been so good. Rest now.”

Leonard fell asleep to her warm presence in his mind, soothing down the agony of leaving Jim.

Leonard didn't see Jim again, though Ariella maintained that he was alive and well in her Sentinel classes. He did run into the quiet woman who had entered Jim's room that night, but she never said anything to him and he had no reason to talk to her.

Leonard still dreamed of a heartbeat almost every night, though the nights Ariella stayed over the sensation was quieter and less disorienting. He started dreaming of a snow leopard moving, just walking over an endless desert. He never moved, but the leopard never trotted further away, no matter how much her legs moved.

“Sounds like your spirit animal,” Ariella said when he mentioned it at lunch one afternoon. At Leonard's eyebrow, she continued. “It represents your spiritual self. Of course you'd be a leopard. Mine is a hawk. I don't suppose you've seen a hawk in these dreams?”

Leonard shook his head. “Just the desert. Though at times I thought I saw a wolf in the distance.”

Ariella hummed and said nothing. She didn't meet his eyes the rest of the meal.

...*...

“McCoy, Hughes. You're up.”

Ariella stepped in front of Leonard, moving into the building first. Leonard passed through the door and was thrown into darkness.

“What can you see?” Leonard asked.

“Give me a minute,” Ariella said. “I can hear breathing above us. There must be two floors.”

“Carefully,” Leonard said as they started to move forward. Ariella clasped his hand firmly in hers, guiding him through the dark halls. Leonard's eyes slowly adjusted, in time to grasp the bottom rungs of a ladder Ariella pulled down.

“This must be an abandoned warehouse. The sounds are so echoey. It's like they're coming from everywhere at once.” Ariella climbed, and Leonard followed the sound of her voice as they moved. She led them to a loft sort of thing, and crouched. “I can't make out anything.”

“Close your eyes,” Leonard said, sub-vocally. She stilled, the only movement coming from her the gentle rise and fall of her shoulders as she breathed. “Tune your hearing down until you hear just the sounds near us. Where is that coming from?”

“About seven o'clock from us,” Ariella said.

“Now trace that back. Where is that sound coming from?”

She was quiet. Finally, she said, “About two o'clock from us.”

“And where is that sound coming from?”

“I think that's the source,” Ariella said. She shifted, crawling forward. Leonard followed as quietly as he could. “Do you have the flashlight?”

Leonard reached for his pocket and drew out the hand held flashlight they had been given for the mission. He passed it to Ariella.

“Ready?” she asked.

“Ready,” Leonard said.

She stood and flashed the light in front of them. The beam swept over four people standing completely still in the loft.

“Tag,” Ariella said.

“Good job, Miss Hughes,” one said. “Only seven minutes and thirteen seconds. This puts you and McCoy in the top five for this test. Well done. Please prepare yourself for the lights.”

The lights flashed on and Leonard winced. A flash of distress flickered through him, and he saw Ariella take on that thousand yard stare, and put himself in front of her.

“Ariella,” he said, taking her face in his hands. He moved himself close enough that all she could see was him. “Listen to me. Come back to me, darlin'. I know you hear me.”

This wasn't a bad one. She blinked slowly, and then saw him. She pulled free of his hands and shook her head as if to clear it. “Sorry,” she said. “The light caught a speck of dust down near the entrance.”

“It's all right,” Leonard said. “These yahoos should have given you more warning.” He glared at them, and they didn't meet his eyes.

“Seems like you two are getting on well,” one of the researchers said, motioning at them.

“No thanks to you,” Leonard said, one hand on the small of Ariella's back to help ground her.

“You two can move on to your next test. Thank you.” The researchers huddled around their PADDs, shutting them both out.

Leonard bit down on his frustration and followed Ariella to the ground floor. She was quiet the entire way out. Leonard opened the door for her, and she froze.

“Hey Bones.”

Leonard felt rooted to the floor. Jim stood on the other side of the door, his assigned Guide slightly behind him.

“Hey Jim,” Leonard said. Jim stood in front of him, but Leonard couldn't feel a thing. Usually he could get a read on Jim. He knew the kid so well it wasn't hard to figure out what he was feeling, but seeing Jim now was like looking at a ghost. Nothing. Leonard took a disoriented step back, and Jim stepped into the building, misreading his action.

“How are you?” Jim asked.

“Good. I'm... good,” Leonard said. It was Ariella's turn to rest her hand on his sleeve.

“This is Natsuki. She's my Guide,” Jim said, nodding at the woman behind him.

“Pleased to meet you, Doctor McCoy. James has told me so much about you.” She held out her hand, and when Leonard took it, he felt warmth flowing from her.

“She's great. She knows Sulu,” Jim said with a slight smile. Leonard eyed him critically. He was pale, and seemed to have lost a bit of weight. But he was breathing, which was a hell of a lot better than the last time Leonard had seen him. “Bones?”

“Sorry. I...” Leonard had to pause and get his words together. “I'm surprised to see you,” he lied.

“It feels like I haven't talked to you in forever. Can we, get lunch or something?” Jim asked hesitantly. “Unless you don't want-”

“Yes. Yes.” Leonard tripped over Jim's words. “Lunch would be great.”

Jim flicked a glance at Natsuki, who smiled and nodded at him. “Great,” Jim said to Leonard. “See you after we ace this test.”

They separated, Jim and Natsuki into the building, and Leonard and Ariella towards the main facilities. Ariella's fingers still twisted in the sleeve of his shirt as they walked. Distress radiated off her.

“Are you all right?” Leonard asked, positive that he didn't want to hear the answer.

“He's the wolf,” she said. “In your dreams.”

“I'm not going to leave you,” Leonard said softly. She shook her head.

“It's all right. It wouldn't be the first time,” she said. She stared at the horizon. Leonard stopped them and took her chin. He forced her to look at him.

“I won't leave you alone,” Leonard said. She rolled her eyes and tugged her chin free.

“Come on. We're missing lunch,” she said, starting off towards the mess.

Jim didn't make it to dinner.

Leonard fell asleep with his PADD in a tight grip and dreamed of wolves and snow leopards.

Leonard woke to the sensation of fingers carding through his hair. He sighed, and he rolled into the touch as a second hand cupped his cheek. The fingers ran through his hair and gentled the skin at the back of his neck, soothing and oh so welcome.

“Bones.”

“Jim.” Leonard opened his eyes.

Jim crouched by his bed, a strained smile on his lips. His fingers trembled, pressed to Leonard's skull.

“What are you doing here?” Leonard asked, pushing himself up onto his elbows.

“You were crying out in your sleep,” Jim said. “I heard you. I can hear you so clearly. Through everything.”

“Jim...” Leonard started.

“I'll leave.” Jim stood sharply. “It's okay. I just wanted to make sure you were all right.”

Leonard flailed, reaching for Jim's wrist. He missed, but caught his fingers in a smooth shirtsleeve. Jim paused, and when he refused to move, Leonard reached with his other hand. He grabbed Jim's arm. If he let go, he'd never see Jim again. He knew it.

“Okay, okay. Bones.” Jim slid his hand along Leonard's arm and climbed onto the mattress with him. Leonard could feel tension radiating off him, and wrapped an arm solidly around Jim's waist to pull him close. Jim sank against him with a barely restrained sob. Leonard echoed one of his own.

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry-” Leonard didn't know what he was apologising for. He couldn't stop, though, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to. Jim hushed him wordlessly, pushing a hand through his hair. He brushed his lips over Leonard's forehead, murmuring soothing noises.

“You're shaking, Bones,” Jim said against his ear. “Do you want me to get Ariella?”

“Don't be an idiot,” Leonard said harshly. He dug his fingers into Jim's arms, hard enough to bruise. “I didn't want to be paired with a teenage girl.”

“She's twenty, Bones,” Jim said. “And she's a formidable Sentinel. I'm sure she's a great partner for you.”

“Don't patronise me,” Leonard said, tightening his grip on Jim. “You and I would be brilliant.”

“That's not-” Jim cut himself off. “That's not funny, Bones.”

Leonard shifted, putting distance between them so he could see Jim's face. Jim refused to meet his eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“I know you wanted to get rid of the bond, Bones. It's okay. I understand,” Jim said. “Starfleet could probably put you planetside in a hospital or something. If you were with me your life would be in danger-”

Leonard clamped his hand over Jim's mouth. Jim's eyes went wide. “What did you say?” Leonard asked.

“I said, you could probably get stationed planetside somewhere-”

“Before that, kid,” Leonard said, giving him a slight shake. Jim blinked at him.

“I know you wanted to get rid of the bond,” Jim said carefully.

“Who told you that?” Leonard growled. Jim's hands closed over his wrists, loosening his grip.

“The doctors. They said it was best if I moved to the bond with Natsuki because you were getting your own partner,” Jim said.

“I never-” Leonard tripped over his own words in his haste to get them out. “They said you needed someone better. Someone stronger-”

“The hell, Bones,” Jim said. “Nobody is _better_ than you. I wanted you, Bones. I only ever wanted _you_.”

Jim surged against him, bringing their lips together in a messy, perfect clash of teeth and nose and tongue. Heat flared between them, and Leonard gasped against Jim's mouth. Jim's hands under his shirt fit along his ribs perfectly, sending flickers of sensation skirting along his spine. Jim nosed Leonard's throat, tasting and sucking heated skin there.

It was utter perfection, and Leonard's heart almost ripped in two when he shoved Jim back. Jim fell to the side, a soft sound of distress tearing at Leonard.

“We have partners, Jim,” Leonard said, panting. He hated himself. He hated Starfleet. He hated the Sanctuary. He hated this entire god damn situation.

Jim sat up, straightening his rumpled sleep shirt. “There are times I can't hear Natsuki when she's standing right next to me,” Jim said. “I can hear you from across the campus.”

Jim's hand slid along Leonard's chest, resting over his thundering heart. Jim pressed his palm firmly to Leonard's skin. “It's you,” Jim said. He locked eyes with Leonard. “It's you.”

“What? You lost me,” Leonard said, letting his hand rest on Jim's.

“Your heartbeat. I dreamed of it. It's what I heard on the bridge the day I Awoke,” Jim said. He clenched his fingers into a fist. “I always listen for it. It helps prevent zone outs. I didn't realise it was you.”

“Ariella said you were the wolf in my dreams,” Leonard said. He worked Jim's fist open and tangled their fingers together.

“My spirit animal is a wolf,” Jim said. “Natsuki said it was a representation of my Sentinel abilities. But there's a snow leopard in my dreams too. In the middle of a huge desert. Leopards aren't native to the desert.”

“That's me,” Leonard said. “I've dreamed of a snow leopard almost every night since we arrived here.” Leonard took a breath. “We'll talk to the girls tomorrow.”

“They're not going to let us change partners just because we feel like it,” Jim said, tensing. “Starfleet arranges Sentinel-Guide pairs for a reason.”

“There's got to be something we can do. There has to be precedence,” Leonard said. “In every single paper I read about the bond, the scientists refer to it as 'profound', something equivalent to or even stronger than a marriage bond. Starfleet can't tell people who to marry. How can they tell Sentinels who to partner with?”

“Because it's a government organisation,” Jim said, scorn dripping from his voice. “We signed a contract, Bones. They say jump, we say how far. We're not our own entities anymore. We're vessels of the state. With super powers. Which makes us weapons, which makes us property.”

“Bullshit. This is a liability. If you can't form a proper bond with Natsuki, that's endangering your life, her life, and any mission you're put on,” Leonard said. He sat up, shifting their joined hands to the space between them. Jim cast his eyes to their hands and said nothing. “Maybe we should have someone take a look at our Starfleet contract-”

“You can't sue Starfleet,” Jim bit out. “It's never been done.”

“Yeah, well, maybe nobody's had as big a stick up their ass as me,” Leonard said. “I'm not letting you go out into the field with a half-formed bond. I won't lose you, Jim. Not like that.” The sensation of Jim's water-slick skin, over heated from the bath. Slack lips refusing to give up breath...

Jim touched his forehead to Leonard's temple, cupping the back of his head gently. Leonard tugged Jim's arm around him, hating that he felt so vulnerable at the thought of losing Jim.

“I'm alive,” Jim said, his voice a whisper in the darkness.

“Yeah, for how long? Who's going to patch you up?” Leonard said. “I thought we'd be on the Enterprise together. That way I could at least keep an eye on you. Sedate you if you wanted to do something stupid... This wasn't in the plan.”

“That's what makes it an adventure,” Jim said, trying to lighten Leonard's mood.

“I hate adventure,” Leonard said. Jim chuckled.

“You took up the wrong profession,” Jim said. “You should've been a hobbit.”

“Don't try and ply me with ancient book references. I'm not having sex with you till we figure this out,” Leonard said. “I swore to Ariella I wouldn't leave her alone. I intend to keep that promise.”

“Can I just stay here tonight?” Jim asked.

“Is that going to exacerbate things?” Leonard asked, leaning back against his pillow.

“I don't know. I don't think so,” Jim said. “It might.”

“Screw it. I don't care. I need you here tonight.” Leonard grabbed him and pulled Jim against him. They lay together, half under the covers, half sprawled over the top. Leonard closed his eyes and felt Jim with him, enveloping his consciousness and making him feel safe and grounded. Jim's hand rested over his chest as he fell asleep.

Ariella said nothing the next morning when Jim awkwardly walked past her to get out of Leonard's room.

“They have a mission for us,” she said when Leonard was ready.

“Nothing happened,” Leonard said, guilt seeping through his veins like blood.

“I told you, it doesn't matter,” Ariella said, arms tight over her chest. “Let's just get this over with. You're giving me a headache and it's not even ten.”

It was an easy mission. A beginner's mission, as it were. All they had to do was recon inside a busy cafe.

Ariella sat down at a table while Leonard got their drinks. He brought them to where she sat and joined her, watching her closely. Her eyes were at half-mast as she tried to filter through the mass of voices crushing in around them. He reached for her hand, physical touch grounding her as she worked.

Their targets were a few business men suspected of arms dealing to mercenaries. Their job was to eavesdrop on the conversation and report the time and place for the deal's hand off to another Sentinel-Guide pair for the arrest. Simple enough.

He lifted the mug of hot coffee to his lips, but Ariella put her hand over the mouth of the cup. She sniffed the air delicately.

“There's a sedative in that,” she said. Leonard put it back on the table, and she eyed her own cup with distaste. She stiffened suddenly, and her grip on Leonard's fingers tightened. “Don't move. They know who we are and what we're doing here.”

Leonard took a deep, calming breath. He saw a man approach him out of the corner of his eye. Something hard pressed against his head, and the man stood way too close.

“You can come with me,” the man said.

“You're making a mistake,” Leonard said.

“Doubt it. You think you're the only one with special powers?” The man nudged Leonard's head harder. Something cool and firm, probably the barrel of a weapon. Leonard couldn't afford to guess otherwise.

“We'll cooperate,” he said.

“Stand up slowly. Leave you bag,” the man said to Ariella. She slowly got out of her chair, and Leonard followed her. The man stepped behind Leonard and nudged him forward. “Outside there is a hover car. Get in it quietly.”

The hover was sleek and black, the kind used for politicians and well paid CEOs. The kind Leonard had never found himself in before. The tinted windows blotted out the sun when he slid inside. Ariella got in after him. He grasped her hips and pushed her to his other side, putting himself between her and the man with the weapon. She sat tense beside him, hands clasped in her lap.

The man sat next to Leonard, pressed flush against his side. Leonard felt the hard implement dig into the soft flesh just under his ribs.

“You won't get very far with us,” Leonard said. “We're both Starfleet officers. This is a federal offense. You'll have the entire Federation on you-”

“Don't talk,” the man said. “By the time they realise you're missing, your bodies will be past the point of recognition.”

Leonard remained as still as he possibly could, eyes combing the vehicle for any hint to where they were going or who these people were. The windows tinted from the inside, and Leonard got lost after the first few turns of the car. It was no use keeping track of where they were going.

Ariella slumped back in her seat suddenly, eyes closed. Leonard cautiously put a hand on her leg, and she twisted her fingers with his. “Migraine,” she said. “Something smells awful. Coming in through the air vents.”

“I'm going to calm her,” Leonard said to the well dressed thug next to him.

“Don't move,” the man warned.

Leonard ignored him, shifting slightly in his seat to lean close to Ariella's ear. He wasn't prepared for the hot flash of pain that sliced through his ribs as a blade inserted itself neatly under his lung. The man yanked it out, and the tearing hurt worse. Leonard gasped, and Ariella grabbed for him, pressing against the wound.

It was a precision cut. The man knew what he was doing. Nothing vital was destroyed, and the pain was on the conscious side of intolerable. Leonard sucked in a ragged breath, his hands closing over Ariella's. She was frighteningly pale, trying to hold his blood in with both hands.

“It's okay. It looks worse than it is,” Leonard said, barely a whisper. Ariella nodded.

The car stopped.

The man opened his door and exited, slamming the door behind him, leaving them alone. Leonard heard another door slam, and could only assume the driver had exited the vehicle as well.

“Sewage,” Ariella said suddenly. She clamped a bloody hand over her nose and mouth, muffling her groan.

The wave of nausea that swept through Leonard was not his own. He fumbled for the door handle and tugged at it anxiously. Locked.

“Don't-” Leonard started.

Ariella gagged. Leonard grabbed her shoulders.

“Your sense of smell is a tide, and it's receding from the shore,” Leonard said. “Let it flow away from you, until you can barely see it. The wave is pulling back, away from you.”

Ariella closed her eyes and took a shallow breath. She exhaled sharply, and then sucked in a full lung of air with a gasp of relief. Leonard wiped at the blood on her face.

“Now what?” she asked.

“We can try kicking out the windows,” Leonard said. Ariella tugged off one of her heels. “Give me your shoe.”

He couldn't quite bend far enough to get it off, but he managed to lift his foot enough for Ariella to tug his shoe off. She slid it onto her bare foot and it hung, far too large. She put the heel of her shoe against the window and faced it, back to Leonard's side.

She kicked out violently with the foot protected by Leonard's shoe. It was a solid hit, but the glass didn't give. Ariella sat up straight and ran her fingers over the glass. “Not a scratch. It must be reinforced.”

She stilled, getting that vacant look on her face that meant she heard something from further away. “Something's coming,” she said. She blinked. “Fast. And it's big.”

Leonard now heard rumbling. “It's coming closer.”

Ariella pushed herself away from her side of the car, clambering close to Leonard. “It's a truck. It's going to hit us.”

The collision slammed Leonard against the door, splitting his side into a molten wave of pain. His vision whited out with the sheer force of it, and then the hover rolled over. Ariella fell on him, and he just barely had the presence of mind to cradle her head as he smashed his skull against the window and everything went black.


	4. Chapter 4

“Leonard! Oh god. You have to wake up. Come _on_.”

Leonard groaned. Someone sobbed in relief over him, and he opened his eyes. The light was way too bright, spearing his eyes and lighting pain through his entire head. His world spun dangerously, and he had a brief battle with nausea threatening to overwhelm him. He swallowed hard, trying to will his stomach quiet.

“Can you see me?” Ariella. She held his chin in one hand, the other cupped the back of his head. “Leonard? You have to focus.”

She shifted, and Leonard heard water sloshing. He tried to see, but Ariella kept him still.

“Try not to move. Can you see me?” she asked again.

“Yes,” Leonard said crossly. She was more a blur of colours than a formed picture, and he knew that was the concussion. She didn't have to know about that, though.

“I can't get you free. You have to help me out. Where are you pinned?” she asked.

Confused, Leonard shifted. His arm flopped unhelpfully into a puddle of frigid water. He jolted, and twisted despite Ariella's protests. He was lying waist-deep in dirty water seeping into the hover.

“Oh crap.”

“Yeah,” Ariella said with a tight smile. “I can't pull you free. Also, you weigh a metric ton. Can you tell me where you're pinned?”

“I can't feel anything beneath my hips,” Leonard said, inhaling deeply. He tried to push against the hover door, to lift himself, and was struck with a wave of pain so intense he blacked out again.

“Leonard! Leonard. Come on. Stay with me.” Ariella tapped his cheek, forcing his eyes to open. He groaned. “Okay. You're okay.”

Leonard peered over her shoulder. “The window cracked. You can get out,” he said.

She glanced at it. Water rolled over the spiderwebs in the glass as the hover sank. They must have been pushed into the Bay. The water was ice cold, and had a disturbing brown tint to it. “If I break the glass, the car is going down,” she said. “You with it.”

Leonard shoved down the flare of panic that clutched at his throat. “You can get help.”

“I'm not leaving you,” Ariella said. She shifted, sliding deeper into the water to help support Leonard's shoulders. He dug his fingers into her arm.

“You have to,” he said. “I'll be all right. Do it quick.”

“No. Not till you're mobile,” she said. She plunged into the icy water up to her shoulders. Bad, bad sign that he couldn't feel her pulling on his leg. The water level crawled higher, sweeping up to Leonard's chest. Ariella panted, blowing ripples out over the surface as she tried and failed to free Leonard.

He reached for her and shoved her towards the cracked window. The water swept up around his shoulders. “Go. There's no time to fight over this.”

“I won't leave you.” Her voice broke, cupping his face in shaking hands. She froze suddenly, narrowing her eyes. “There's another Sentinel coming.”

She twisted, eying the window with renewed energy. Leonard pushed at her, spitting out foul water that slipped into his mouth.

“I'll get help,” she said, eyes wide with desperation. “I'll be back. You won't die.”

Leonard gritted his teeth against the word. Ariella braced herself and kicked out the window.

Water flooded into the compartment, and Leonard sucked in a frantic breath before slipping beneath the surface. His heart pounded in his ears, and he could hear the creak and groan of metal as the hover cooled around him. Time stopped. He was dying, and he was doing it slowly.

He closed his eyes, fighting down the panic burning through his chest like used oxygen. The more he panicked, the quicker he burned energy. He had to remain calm. Even as the light of the sun grew dimmer. Even as the water cooled further.

The water swirled around him, and a hand clamped down over his nose and mouth. He jerked, fingers closing around bony wrists. He squinted through the dirty water.

Jim.

_No._

Leonard shoved hard at him, precious air exploding from his lips. The burning in his chest eased slightly, giving him a false sense of security. Jim hit the car door, fumbling for Leonard's arms. Leonard tried to urge him away, but Jim batted his arms down.

Jim wrapped his arm around Leonard's waist and reached for where his leg was crushed against the door. Pain flared from the knife wound, the first thing Leonard felt from it in what felt like forever. He clenched his jaw. He was getting close to his limit. His lungs burned, aching with the need to release.

A rough spasm of his diaphragm forced more air from him. He clamped his hands over his nose and mouth, desperate. He saw Jim, but couldn't feel his hands, or the water shifting around them. He swallowed hard against air bubbling in his throat. He was numb. He couldn't feel anything.

Another violent jerk forced more air out, and his body tried to inhale. Met with nothing, his entire body jerked, trying to breathe. Water slipped past the tenuous barrier of his fingers, and he coughed explosively.

He inhaled a breath of water, and his throat closed around the intrusion. Gagging, his body tried to force the water out and drag in air, but there was nothing to breathe. Water filled his lungs, swelling against fragile tissue and he _burned_. He felt his lungs moving as if from a distance. They weakly pushed against the heavy liquid, straining to bring life-giving oxygen to his system. He couldn't move. He was breathing water and Jim was holding him and everything _hurt_ -

He remembered waking up once, hot agony driving him to consciousness briefly. He remembered Jim's eyes, seeing true fear there for the first time. Everything went black again.

He woke to a blue sky.

He sat up abruptly. Desert stretched as far as the eye could see, but he wasn't hot. In fact, he was at a quite comfortable temperature.

A low growl caught his attention, and he turned his head to see a snow leopard sitting a few feet away.

“You're me,” Leonard said. The leopard said nothing, merely looked to her left. Leonard followed her gaze and saw a soft, white light glistening in the distance. Comforting. He stood, and the leopard got to her feet as well, moving to stand beside him. “Should we go to it?”

The leopard walked a few paces then paused, turning to stare. Leonard took a step, but before he could take another, something grabbed his pant leg and tugged.

He glanced down and saw a tawny wolf at his ankle, teeth securely in the fabric of his pants. The wolf whined.

“Who are you?” Leonard asked. He knelt, putting his hand on the wolf's head. “Do I know you?”

The wolf whined again, nuzzling his hand. The snow leopard approached them, nudging up against the wolf gently. The wolf nosed back at her, still whimpering. Leonard brushed his hand through the wolf's fur, trying to soothe him. The wolf grabbed his sleeve in his teeth and tugged.

The warm light at his back beckoned. He looked over his shoulder at it, and the wolf whined desperately. Leonard glanced between them. The wolf was pulling him in the opposite direction.

Suddenly, the wolf released him and ran a short distance. He whirled, kicking up sand, and barked at Leonard. Leonard found his eyes drawn back to the light. The wolf barked again, and Leonard turned back to him.

He took a step towards the wolf.

The instant his foot hit sand, his chest split in two. He gasped, falling to his knees, clutching his chest.

The pain flared again, and he choked on it. The wolf circled him anxiously, howling. The pain came back, throbbing like a heartbeat, and he fell to his side on hot sand.

The next flash of pain disoriented him so badly he lost sense of himself. He was on his back, staring up at a white hospital ceiling. A soft plastic oxygen mask was over his nose and mouth, pumping him with enriched air. He reached for it.

Someone's hand gently deterred him, tugging his hand away and twisting their fingers together.

Leonard tipped his head, dizzy with the simple motion, and saw Jim sitting beside him. His feet were tucked up on an awkward hospital chair and he looked as if he hadn't slept in days.

“My god, Bones,” Jim said, voice broken.

Someone in a white lab coat moved from behind Jim and gently separated their hands. Jim leaned in his chair, as close as he could get without actually climbing into the bed, and the doctor started prodding Leonard. He was too exhausted to fight back, and couldn't keep his eyes from closing once more. He drifted.

He was still on oxygen when he woke next, but his head was clearer. The lights were turned down to help the patients sleep, and he was still hooked up to an IV. Fabric shifted near him, and when he looked, he saw Jim still beside him. He was crammed into the chair, trying to nap comfortably.

Leonard flung out an arm, too weak to control it, and slapped at Jim. Jim started awake with a gasp, blinking.

“Gonna get- stiff neck...” Leonard said with effort. Jim bit back a chuckle and uncurled from the chair.

He stood over Leonard's bed and smoothed down the bedsheets. “You died,” Jim said. “Ariella broke your ribs pumping your chest to get your heart started. You weren't breathing, Bones.”

Leonard reached for his hand and Jim clasped it.

“Brought me back...” Leonard said, pulling on Jim's hand. Jim stepped closer to the bed.

“You're not going anywhere without me,” Jim said in a low voice. “You hear me, Bones?”

Jim crawled onto the bed over Leonard, achingly mindful of his still-hurting chest. Leonard opened his arms and they arranged themselves around the IV lines. Jim stretched out beside him, sliding an arm under Leonard's head as they curled around each other. Leonard let his head slide into the comfortable groove of Jim's arm.

“I won't let you go.” Jim whispered into his hair, voice low and aching. “Damn it, Bones. What are you doing to me?”

Leonard smoothed his fingers along Jim's spine, trying to soothe him as best he could.

Jim stayed with Leonard for his entire stay in the emergency ward. When the nurses weren't kicking him out of the bed, he curled up alongside Leonard, as if distance hurt him. When they let Leonard return to his own room, with excused absenses from Guide activities, Jim followed.

“Don't you have something more important to do?” Leonard asked as Jim eased him onto his bed. His chest still hurt. He was still coughing, but he was healing. The coughing fits came less frequently, and hurt much less than the first few days, but he still tired embarrassingly easily.

“No,” Jim said. He sat on the edge of the bed and rested his hand over Leonard's chest, a routine he had picked up over the last few days. Leonard didn't have the heart to tell him to fuck off. He didn't want any of this babying crap, no matter how much he craved Jim's touch.

Jim touched his hair, smoothing it back from his forehead. “Can I get you anything?”

“Bourbon?” Leonard asked. Jim smirked.

“Water?” he countered.

“Some Jack on the rocks?”

“How about a nice cup of hospital jello?”

“Bite me.” Leonard shifted petulantly, turning away from Jim.

The next thing he felt was a sharp nip on his ear. He, god help him, _yelped_ and spun on Jim, stretching sore muscles. “What the hell-”

Jim leered at him. “You said.”

Leonard let Jim shift closer, and he slid completely onto the bed, kicking off his shoes. His hand found Leonard's chest again, and Leonard twisted their fingers together. Jim moved closer. He pressed up against Leonard's shoulder, so close his breath ghosted over Leonard's throat.

Leonard's heart thundered in his chest at Jim's proximity. Jim's leg slipped between his.

“Jim-”

“Shut up, Bones,” Jim said, his voice a broken whisper. “Just shut up.”

Leonard turned, and was met with the full force of Jim's kiss. He groaned under the pressure, fingers scrabbling at Jim's shirt to pull him closer, demand more. The biting kiss sent shivers down Leonard's spine, and Jim arched up over him. A hand fisted in his hair and jerked his head back.

“Jim-”

“Shut _up_ , Bones,” Jim said against his lips. “I need-”

“What do you need?” Leonard asked, startled to hear his own voice rough with want.

“I need _you_.” Jim clenched his teeth, hissing out a breath. His fingers dug hard into Leonard's hip. “God, Bones. I've never been so scared in my life. You started drowning- Ariella and I dragged you out.” Leonard shivered. “You weren't breathing- Your lips were so cold-”

“ 'm all right.” Leonard pulled his fingers through Jim's hair. Jim kissed him again, hard and wet and _hot_. The touch sent waves of heat rolling through Leonard's skin. “ 'm all right, Jim-”

Jim rolled on top of him and pressed him against the mattress. Leonard grunted, sliding his hands up Jim's ribs. Jim's chest heaved, breathing deep under Leonard's palms.

“Please,” Jim said. He moaned, sliding his hips along Leonard's. “Please, Bones-”

“Hush,” Leonard murmured. A Starship captain, begging. It weren't right. Jim's skin was molten under his touch, shifting and sculpted and so far beyond perfect Leonard couldn't breathe. He choked on a sob, burying his face in Jim's throat as Jim shifted against him. “Jim-”

His words dissolved into helpless, needy whines as Jim peeled the hospital scrubs away from his skin. Leonard was bared, in more ways than one. Jim mouthed over his flesh, smoothing his lips along Leonard's throat, shoulders, and chest. Leonard arched into the touch, gasping. Tugging gently, Jim worked Leonard's shirt off, slipping his arms out with effort. Jim didn't want to let go, and Leonard wasn't about to leave one second's breath between them.

It was slow, it was hot, and Leonard struggled to find anything more _right_ than the intimate slide of Jim's skin on his. The pressure of his weight and the feel of his hands roaming bare skin.

Jim shimmied out of his trousers, kicking them off the bed. Leonard slid his hands into Jim's boxers, digging his fingers into the firm muscle of Jim's ass. Jim ground down, driving a gasp from Leonard. The heat was too much. Leonard pushed restricting cloth from Jim's skin, and Jim toed them to the edge of the bed. Leonard rolled his hips, and Jim worked the hospital pants off him with ease of practice.

Jim stared, panting and flushed.

“You're naked,” he said, as if he couldn't believe it.

“Yeah,” Leonard said. “So're you.” He ran his hand up Jim's ribs.

Jim pushed a hand through his hair, roughly, tugging his head back and up. His throat was bared. “You're naked with _me_ ,” he said, leaning in to nip at Leonard's Adam's Apple.

“Been naked with you before,” Leonard said. His knees pulled up around Jim, keeping him in place.

“Not like this,” Jim said. He slid down Leonard's body, pressing kisses down the lines of Leonard's ribs. He tugged a bit of skin between his teeth. Leonard hissed, the sensation flaring along his spine. Jim went lower, pressing his face to Leonard's strong thigh.

Leonard's erection bobbed against his stomach, twitching under Jim's moist breath. Jim licked a stripe up the shaft, and Leonard saw stars. His hand fell on Jim's head as he swirled the tip of Leonard's erection on his tongue.

“Jim- You don't have to-” Leonard's fingers tightened in Jim's hair.

“Yes, I do.” Jim paused to level Leonard with a glare. Then, without another word, he opened his mouth and took Leonard's erection into his throat.

Heat rushed through Leonard, short circuiting his brain until all he could feel was tight, wet heat around his prick. Jim drew off with a small gasp, colour flooding his cheeks as he mouthed up and down Leonard's shaft. He closed his lips around the head and slowly slid down. Leonard breathed harshly through his nose as Jim continued, taking him inch by inch until Leonard was fully seated in his throat.

Jim's eyes scrunched shut, concentrating, and then he swallowed.

It took all of Leonard's will power not to lurch up from the bed and drive himself into Jim's mouth. Slick, intense heat vibrated along his prick. He had to take his hand from Jim's head and grip the pillow under him. Jim didn't need his help to choke on his prick.

Jim swallowed again, and before Leonard could completely lose it, drew off. He licked his fingers generously and slid them under Leonard's ass.

“What are you-”

Jim circled his hole with a slicked finger, and Leonard all but jerked up.

“Don't _even_ , without proper lubrication, dumbass-” Leonard's rant was cut off when Jim swallowed him down again. Leonard gasped, a pitiful little sound that in any other scenario would have been horrifying. Jim kept up his tantalising massage, but didn't penetrate him. Instead, he slid his fingers along till he reached Leonard's testicles. Gripping them, he kneaded in time with the motion of his throat.

Leonard couldn't help it. He bucked up. Jim gagged slightly, his free hand pushing down hard on Leonard's hips to make him _stay_. But he didn't pull off. Instead, he sucked harder, pushing himself to take more of Leonard.

“Jim- Jim- Damn it-” Leonard was babbling, he knew it. He knew Jim wanted to reduce him to this. And god damn, he was reduced.

He came so hard he saw stars. Jim swallowed before pulling off with a hoarse gasp. He pumped his hand up and down Leonard's shaft through the aftershocks, until Leonard was thoroughly, and by all definitions, wrung out.

Without an ounce of shame, Leonard made grabby hands at Jim until he shifted up the bed. Sweat slick skin slid over Leonard's, and he gripped Jim close. Jim's flagging erection brushed his as Leonard swept his hand up Jim's spine.

“Did you-”

“Yeah,” Jim said. “I've never heard you like that before.”

Leonard did flush at that, hot amidst the cooling sheen of sweat on their bodies.

“Do not ever die again,” Jim said, nuzzling Leonard's chin.

“Do my best,” Leonard promised. He was not interested in a repeat performance.

“Can I please... Bones?” Jim lifted his head, touching Leonard's chin to look directly at each other.

“Jim?”

“Stay,” Jim said, closing his eyes. “I want to stay.”

As if Leonard would ever say no to him. Instead of answering, Leonard just pulled Jim in for a kiss, chaste compared to their earlier desperation. Jim melted against him, clutched so tightly to his chest Leonard could feel his heart thundering.

He drifted to the sensation of Jim pulling fingers through his hair. Throughout the night, he became aware of himself, pulled out of a nightmare by Jim's voice. The second time, he heard Jim whispering to him. Nonsense at first, but as he faded back to unconsciousness, Jim murmured to him, lips brushing the curve of Leonard's ear.

“I can't do this without you, Bones. You can't leave me.”

The morning showed no evidence Jim knew Leonard had heard him. Jim rolled over him in bed, keeping him pressed to the mattress. Leonard's comm rang.

Jim grunted. “Ignore it.”

“Could be important.” Leonard reached for it, but Jim wouldn't be budged. Leonard shoved at him. “Gerr'off.”

“No.” Jim grabbed for him. Leonard grabbed his wrist and twisted in warning. Jim wriggled out of the hold and latched on to Leonard's waist as the comm ping sounded more urgently. Leonard slid halfway off the bed reaching for it. He knocked it off the bedside stand as he fell off the bed, dragging Jim and half their covers with them.

The comm clacked to the floor, and Leonard grasped at it.

“Hello?” He flicked it open.

Silence.

Leonard stared at the fuzzy screen, waiting for it to reveal who was on the other end of the call, but nothing happened. Jim groaned from where he curled up in the nest of blankets. “Fucking mouth-breathers,” he muttered. Leonard scowled at him but ended the call.

“Show off,” Leonard said.

“Told you not to answer it,” Jim said, trying to suppress a yawn and failing miserably. “Probably Sulu or someone pranking you.”

“Who knows I'm here?” Leonard asked. He fell to his side in the pile of blankets they had dragged from the bed and stared at the phone. “I don't think anyone knows what centre we were shipped to. And the information is confidential while we're here.”

“Don't know.” Jim draped his arm over Leonard's belly.

A soft knock came at the door and Leoanrd pushed himself up to his elbows. Before either of them could answer, the door slid open and revealed Dr Hein standing in the hall.

“Ah. Doctor McCoy. It appears I've caught you with your pants down. Forgive me.” He didn't look apologetic in the least.

Jim and Leonard scrambled to their feet, grasping the bedsheets around their waists. Dr Hein appeared completely uninterested in their heated embarrassment and stared at the padd in his hand. “Congratulations, Dr McCoy, Mr Kirk, you have successfully disregarded everything we've told you regarding pair bonding and acclimation of partners.”

“Excuse me?” Leonard gripped the sheet close.

“You and Mr Kirk are working on your bond, even though you had explicit instruction not to,” Hein said, folding his arms over his chest. “What are you going to do about that?”

“I don't understand,” Jim said. “The... What bond?”

“You and Dr McCoy arrived at the centre with a nascent bond, which I tried to explain to my colleagues. There was no proof, however, and no paper trail. I was overruled.” Hein tucked the padd under his arm. “And you've taken it to the next step. This is going to be a lot of paperwork. Surely you've been introduced to the Sentinel-Guide bond in your classes.”

“Yes, but it sounded ritualistic,” Leonard said. “You're telling me it's a physical thing?”

“Physical, emotional, mental- the whole shebang,” Hein said. “If we were to compare the Sentinel-Guide bond to a classic monogamous relationship, you two are essentially engaged now. Well done.”

Jim stiffened, cold waves of anxiety rolling off him. Leonard glanced at him, but his face was a smooth mask. Leonard wanted to reach for him, but he didn't think he'd be able to break through the wall of ice suddenly between them. As if the warmth and comfort of the night before had never happened.

“You're most likely experiencing an intense feeling of attraction towards each other. Mr Kirk has most likely honed in on your heartbeat, and you to his emotions. This is all typical of a progressing bond,” Dr Hein said. “I'd ask you to keep it down, but you haven't learned to control it yet. Just please refrain from jumping each other in public. You have private rooms for a reason.”

“Hold up,” Leonard said, taking a step forward. The sheet pulled slightly; Jim remained stationary. “You're saying that what we did last night strengthened our 'bond'?”

“Did I stutter?” Dr Hein asked. “We have to figure out how to approach Starfleet with this news. They are not going to be happy. I'll draft up the paperwork. I'd call a lawyer if I were you. This shit can be worse than custody battles.”

Leonard hadn't realised he tensed until Jim's knuckles found the small of his back. Hein sighed, seeing the motion.

“Look, guys, I'm in your corner. But Starfleet isn't going to give in that easily. We haven't been able to prove a physical, scientific connection to the bond, and until that is on paper, Starfleet and every other government with a Sentinel in employ is going to maintain that bonds can be broken.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose, pushing his glasses up to his forehead.

“Don't worry about paperwork,” Jim said. Leonard glanced at him. “I'm sorry. I'll go. I just wanted to make sure he was all right. I'm not going to put anyone through that-”

“Mr Kirk, I have seen first hand how devastating a breaking bond can be,” Hein said. “Trust me when I say that neither of you will enjoy it, especially since it's come this far unhindered. Your inhibitor may have stopped your senses from going out of control, but they did not stop you from connecting with this man. You must see that.”

“I don't want this,” Jim ground out, hands clenching into fists.

“Thanks,” Leonard said, sarcasm dripping. “That's not what you were saying last night.”

“Shut up, Bones,” Jim said. “You don't want this either.”

“No, I don't, but if I have to be saddled with someone for the foreseeable future I'd rather it be you, dumb ass,” Leonard said.

“You don't know anything about me, Bones,” Jim said, hissing the words. Leonard took a stunned step backwards.

“Gentlemen, I know you're irritated, and I know this is quite a lot for you to take in, but I need-”

“Shut up!” Jim and Leonard growled at the same time. Dr Hein coughed awkwardly.

“I'll see myself out then,” Dr Hein said quietly. He stepped from the room and the door closed behind him.

“What the hell, Jim?” Leonard asked. “What's gotten into you?”

Jim dropped the sheet and grabbed for his clothes. He jerked them on with quick, sharp motions, and steadfastly ignored meeting Leonard's eyes. “I should be going. I have class.”

“Hold on just one damn minute.” Leonard grabbed Jim's arm, fingers digging into flesh. He was painfully aware of just how naked he was, standing in the pool of bedsheets. “What was this all about then?”

“What?” Jim's eyes were cold. Leonard snatched his hand back, as if burned.

“What was last night?” Leonard bit out.

“What do you want me to say, Bones?” Jim threw his hands out. “That we were hormone-driven sluts? That we're _destined_ to be together? What, Bones?”

“Don't you dare cheapen what we did. Don't you dare.” Leonard jabbed a finger in Jim's bare sternum. Jim took a surprised step back. “I don't care if you don't want to slap a ring me, but damn it, Jim! I don't _do_ shit like that without it meaning something.”

Jim slapped his hand down with a scowl. “You expect me to roll over for you now? Because I sucked your cock?”

Leonard didn't realise what happened until his knuckles smarted and Jim was on the ground in front of him, blood leaking through the hand held to his mouth. He closed his eyes and counted to thirty five before he had calmed enough to crouch in front of Jim.

“You're a fucking child sometimes, you know that?” Leonard said quietly. He pulled Jim's fingers away from a split lip and dabbed at the blood with an edge of the sheet. “I don't want you to roll over. I would never want that. I want you to push me. Don't you get it, Jim? The reason we're great is because we piss each other off.”

“Whatever,” Jim said, still not meeting his eyes. Leonard scowled.

He grasped Jim's jaw and forced his eyes up and on him. “I want to be your partner in this. Not your owner.”

“I got it, Bones,” Jim said, irritated. He pushed at Leonard's hand, but Leonard refused to let go.

“Say it, Jim.”

“Say what? Jesus, Bones-”

“I need to know you understand me,” Leonard said. “I'm not sure how much gets through that thick skull of yours.”

“You don't want to be my owner,” Jim said. He closed his eyes and breathed harshly through his nose.

“And?”

“And you want to be my partner,” Jim said quietly. Leonard released him, satisfied- for the most part.

“Now get your ass into the 'fresher. You stink like sex.” Leonard stood and snatched up his trousers. Jim ducked into the 'fresher without another word.

Leonard sat on the bed and put his head in his hands. A splitting headache had taken up residence somewhere behind his left eye, and as he breathed he realised he was shaking. He gritted his teeth and tried to still the fine tremors. He was a surgeon damn it, not a pediatrician.

Jim's waves of anxiety had shaken him deeply. He wasn't just nervous. He was fucking terrified.

The bathroom door opened and Jim stepped out, toweling his hair.

“Jim,” Leonard said. Jim glanced at him hesitantly. “How did your powers manifest?”

“I don't want to talk about it,” Jim said. “And it's confidential. Above your pay grade.”

“Jim.” Leonard stared at him, feeling the chill of the room acutely. “Please. I can feel you. I need you to level with me.”

“Confidential.” Jim said in a clipped tone. He was out the door before Leonard could stop him.

“Damn it.” Leonard tugged his padd from under the bed. He sent a message to Areel and tossed it across the mattress before flopping onto his back.

He was able to set up a meeting with her a few days later, and he bullied the doctors into letting him off the site to meet her at the cafe she mentioned in her message. It was a discreet little hole-in-the-wall place, and everyone seemed to know Areel, shouting at her where she sat. She laughed them off and handed Leonard the menu.

He had a headache by the time their coffee arrived, and the caffeine helped a little bit.

“Before we get started, I'm engaged,” Areel said, flashing the ring. Leonard stared at her. She shrugged and cupped her mug with both hands. “You didn't say why we're meeting out here and I don't want you to get your hopes up. I'm monogamous.”

“That's not- Look, you're a lawyer, right?” Leonard asked. She nodded, pursing her lips. “We need legal advice.”

“We?”

“They won't let Jim and I partner,” Leonard said. “Something about our official levels. He's already had a few bad zone outs, and one of the doctors thinks we have a nascent bond. He suggested getting a lawyer because Starfleet isn't going to let this go.”

“Not this old hat again.” Areel sighed and crossed her legs at the ankles. “Couples have gone up again and again against Starfleet with no luck. At this point it's even just Starfleet sticking their heels in the ground.”

“We need your help, will you go to bat for us?” Leonard asked.

“It's a crap shoot but if I win it will launch my career,” Areel said. “Of course. We have the advantage of you being a doctor, and Jim on command track. You guys saved everyone. If it gets to a jury, you'll definitely win. Starfleet will try to settle outside of court, most likely. Does Jim know you're here?”

“No,” Leonard said after a moment's hesitation.

“We're going to need him to testify,” Areel said. She peered at him. “You two are fighting, aren't you?”

“How does everyone know?” Leonard groaned. Areel laughed.

“Because you're both so pissy when you're at odds with each other,” she said. “I was on the Enterprise, remember? We had to travel back home the old fashioned way. That was an extremely long trip, let me tell you. Remember when Jim used up your weekly water ration in one go? You probably didn't notice, but Chapel cleared the entire ward until you calmed down a few days later.”

Leonard had wondered about that week. Medical had been mysteriously slow. He had just chalked it up to the crew not being stupid for once. He'd have to have more words with Chapel when this all was finished and sorted. “He's just having a hard time adjusting. He'll come around.”

“You need to talk to him.” Areel stirred her coffee slowly, eying him.

“You think I haven't been? It'd be more effective talking to a brick wall.” He sat back in his chair and pushed a hand through his hair. “I don't know what to do. I'm not going to force him, but he's not seeing reason.”

“He's probably scared,” Areel said. Leonard almost burst out laughing. Jim Kirk? Scared? She saw his expression and frowned. “Think about it. Being told that you're going to have to depend on someone for the rest of your life? That's terrifying. It's different for Sentinels. At least you can still function in some sort of capacity. If he zones out, he's as good as dead. His entire life just vanished. All his doors closed except this one path. It's kind of like marriage only less sex and more baggage.”

Leonard swallowed hard past the lump in his throat. He stared resolutely at the cup in front of him, unwilling to face this new knowledge. Of _course_ Jim was scared. Jim, who rebelled against the Admirals because he fucking could. He would never want to be strapped down, leashed to someone for the rest of his life. It went against every fibre of his being.

“I have to go,” Leonard said sharply, standing in one swift motion. Areel smiled at him.

“Give him one for me,” she called as he walked away. He flushed.

The door to Jim's room was unlocked, and Leonard slammed it open with more force than he intended. Jim flinched, sitting at the desk. “Jesus, Bones.”

“Look, Jim, I don't want to cage you,” Leonard said, striding to Jim's side. Jim stared at him blankly. Leonard tried again. “I mean, I won't force you into something you don't want to do.”

“Okay,” Jim said, drawing the word out. He cocked his head. “Are you all right? I thought we were fighting.”

“I went to Areel. She's a lawyer, and she agreed to take our case to Starfleet's Admirals. Jim, I want you to be my partner, but only if you want it. I won't force you.” Leonard spread his arms to the side helplessly.

“I'd rather be paired with you,” Jim said. “I'll talk with Areel.”

“Good. Good.” Leonard shifted, suddenly feeling awkward. He turned towards the door. “Okay. I'll message you with the meeting time.”

“Okay. Good.” Jim was still staring at him when he walked out.

...*...

The meeting was a few days later, in a conference room on site. Leonard recognised his advisor and Pike, who he personally didn't think was ready to be up and moving yet but he wasn't the man's doctor anymore, and a few higher ranking officials that had overseen the Enterprise off-boarding.

And in their corner was him, Areel, and Jim. Dr Hein slid into the room at the last moment, pushing his glasses up.

“Sorry,” he said. “Zone out with one of the new patients. Have we started yet?”

Areel shook her head and nodded to the seat beside her. Dr Hein slipped into the chair and placed his padd on the table in front of him.

“Ms Shaw, you've called this meeting to discuss the assignments of two officers?” One of the admirals, nameplate said Redford, folded his hands on the table. “Would you care to elaborate for those of us who are unfamiliar with your request?”

“I am merely representing a Sentinel-Guide pair against the arrangement made without their consent,” Areel said smoothly. “Specifically a new pair without prior knowledge of how the bonding process works and proceeds.”

“You realise that these officers have signed an agreement with Starfleet stating they will report to any branch we determine for them, correct?” Redford said. “Obviously we attempt to work in the best interests of our personnel, but if we feel a particular strength is needed in one area, we will assign them there. It has always worked this way.”

“I believe that Starfleet has previous history of arranging marriages with their officers, then?” Areel said.

“That argument is invalid, Ms Shaw. There has never been any concrete evidence stating that the emotive bonding of the Sentinel-Guide phenomenon can be compared to marriage-”

“I beg to differ, sir,” Dr Hein cut in. He tapped his padd and glanced up at the admirals, who all just received a message on their padds. “I've been doing research in that exact field, and I can tell you with certainty that destroying a nascent bond is much harder on the human psyche than breaking up.”

“Has this been independantly verified?” Dr Taque asked.

“As of yet, no, but my research partner will be more than willing to testify to the trauma we've seen in severed bonds. Even in the weakest degree, the Sentinel-Guide bond is a force to be reckoned with.” Dr Hein gestured to Jim and Leonard. “I believe these two have progressed past the nascent stage. To separate them at this point would be psychological torture.”

Jim stiffened in the chair beside him, and Leonard carefully slid his hand atop Jim's thigh under the table in an effort to calm him. Jim carefully shifted away, and Leonard stomped down hard on the rejection welling in his throat. He tried to focus on the conversation at hand, but couldn't quite ignore the waves of anxiety pouring off of Jim.

“The fact remains that Cadet Kirk has scored very high on the Sandburg scale. His abilities will be best put to use in another branch, with another partner,” Redford said. “Doctor McCoy's empathetic abilities are most definitely suited to his current specialty, but Cadet Kirk shows great promise within a specialty group in Starfleet.”

“He can't though,” Leonard cut in. He ignored Areel's glare. She had told them specifically to remain silent, but he couldn't let this go. “He's only been responding to me. We're friends. We've been through a lot of shit together, and his new partner can't work with him effectively.”

“McCoy, stand down,” Jim said. Leonard glared at him, irrationally furious at the use of his family name.

“I'm not going to let them send you to your death, Jim,” Leonard said. “Who knows what could happen if you're in Special Ops and you zone out? You could die- Hell, you could compromise the entire organisation! They don't realise what a huge risk-”

“I said stand down,” Jim said, pink tinging his cheeks. “I'm not a princess to be fought over. I can make my own decisions about my future, thank you.”

“Gentlemen,” Areel said, pursing her lips.

“I'm not telling you what to do with your future,” Leonard said. “I'm trying not to get you killed.”

“Nobody asked you to,” Jim said in a low voice. Leonard pressed his lips together.

He stood and dragged Jim up by his lapel. “Excuse us.”

He stomped out of the room, hauling Jim bodily behind him. Once outside the conference room, Leonard turned and slammed Jim against the wall. Jim grunted, fisting his hands in the front of Leonard's shirt.

“Just what the fuck do you think you're doing?” Leonard hissed between his teeth. “Do you want to be stuck with one of those yahoos? With someone who isn't going to punch you back? Is that what you want? Because that's how you're acting right now.”

“You can't give up your career for this, McCoy,” Jim said, his chest fluttering staccato beneath Leonard's fists. It made Leonard want to press harder. To get closer, and to make his skin red. To imprint him, to mark him.

“This isn't about what I want,” Leonard said. “This is about us, god damn it. Like it or not, you're stuck with me. And, Jesus Christ, Jim, even if we weren't this... Sentinel-Guide thing, you'd be stuck with me. Because there's no way in hell I'd let you go into the black alone. Someone has to keep your stupid ass out of trouble, and it sure as hell wouldn't be that pointy-eared bastard.”

Jim gave him a little shove, a half-hearted attempt to dislodge him. Leonard shook him.

“I'm not asking you to spend your life with me, Jim. I just want to help you,” Leonard said, hating that his voice broke slightly. “I'm in your corner, Jim.”

The tension left Jim's body, leaving him limp and leaning against the wall. He closed his eyes and covered his face with one hand. “I-I can't... Bones-”

“What is it, Jim?” Leonard let his grip loosen slightly, trying to catch Jim's eyes.

When Jim finally met his eyes, Leonard felt cold to see they were wet. “After Tarsus I-”

The rest of the sentence fuzzed in Leonard's ears. He stared at Jim, the entire world collapsing onto the man in his grasp, who had started to shake with the gravity of his words. He felt numb, like every switch in his brain had simultaneously stopped working.

“We're not having this discussion here,” he finally managed. Jim blinked hard, grabbing Leonard for support now, as Leonard pulled him away from the wall.

Leonard led them back to Jim's room, and he sat Jim on the bed. The only sound in the room was Jim's stuttering breaths as Leonard shut and locked the door before returning to the bed. Jim stared bleakly at him as he got to his knees between Jim's legs and settled his hands on either side of Jim's hips.

“Talk to me,” he said, voice soft in the quiet. “I need you to talk to me, Jim.”

“There's nothing to say,” Jim said, clasping his hands in front of him. “I was on Tarsus. My powers awakened.”

“You survived Kodos,” Leonard said.

“The human body can go weeks without food,” Jim said in a dead voice. “I was alone and starving in the dungeons for weeks. He fed us just enough to keep us going. I thought I was finally going crazy, hearing things. Seeing things. I could smell the death in the other cells. I-”

He cut himself off, clenching his jaw and staring hard at a point over Leonard's shoulder. Leonard ran one hand up Jim's arm, and reached with the other, gently cradling Jim's jaw to turn his head. Their eyes met. “Stay with me, Jim,” Leonard said. “Focus on me.”

Jim blinked, shaking off the zone-out. Leonard smoothed his thumb over Jim's cheek.

“Why didn't you tell me?” he asked.

“What was I supposed to say?” Jim shrugged. “'Oh hey, Bones, I survived Tarsus, can you pass the cream'? It isn't something I talk about.”

“Is that why parts of your file are blocked out?” Leonard asked, things sliding into place in his mind.

“Yeah. The inhibitor and the psyche evals.” Jim unconsciously twisted his hand in Leonard's, linking their fingers and holding for dear life. Leonard squeezed back. “Even Pike couldn't see it.” He smiled darkly. “The evals said I'd made an astonishing, complete recovery.”

Leave it to James T Kirk to bullshit his way out of a PTSD diagnosis.

Leonard shifted, slipping his other hand into Jim's. Jim eyed him warily. “I know that the last thing you ever wanted was to depend on someone else,” Leonard said. “And I get that you're scared. Hell, I'm terrified. I didn't think I'd be anyone's partner after Jocelyn. In any way, shape, or form. This was the last thing on my list, too. But if I have to, I want it to be with you. I would die before betraying you, Jim. I will never hurt you unless you've done something truly stupid. Like trying to tickle Spock.”

Jim snorted, a small grin spreading his lips. Leonard took the small victory. He cuffed Jim's ear gently, a warmth swelling in him at Jim's smile.

A light tap at the door drew their attention, and Jim stood to answer it. Leonard got off his knees, groaning at how stiff they were. He was too old for this crap.

He sat on the bed and saw Natsuki in the doorway, pale. “Ariella's gone,” she said.

“What do you mean, gone?” Leonard asked.

“She's been taken. Her room is ransacked and there's blood on the sheets. The room was doused in a sensory-numbing spray to prevent their scent from being tracked,” she said, looking at Jim. “They're putting together teams to look for her.”

Jim found Leonard's eyes. “I have to go,” Leonard said. “I need to help her.”

“I know. I'm going with you,” Jim said. Natsuki stepped across the threshold.

“I am coming as well,” she said. “I've recently been dreaming of a hawk.”

“Ariella's spirit animal,” Leonard said. Natsuki nodded, looking pleased with herself.

“I found her in the register. Now, if you please, haste is warranted.” She turned and left the room. Jim and Leonard followed close behind.

...*...

“You're sure?” Leonard stared down from the roof of the building.

“Yeah. They can't hide the trail that well. Despite incredibly well-versed efforts,” Jim said, rubbing his nose. He'd had a very, very minor melt-down when they came across a trail of peppermint that had given him a nosebleed. Leonard was able to pull him out of it without much effort, but now Jim's shirt was streaked with blood.

“There's like twenty armed guards before the _door_ ,” Leonard said. “There's no way we're getting in there by ourselves. Who are these people?”

“The Society for Human Equivalence,” Jim said, squinting. He was reading the patches on their shirts. From almost fifteen yards away. Leonard boggled.

“A known anti-Sentinel group,” Natsuki said, one hand on the railing that ringed the rooftop. “I was unaware they resorted to violent means to obtain their goals.”

“We should call for back up,” Leonard said.

“I smell a lot of blood,” Jim said tightly. “We might not have time for back up.” He leaned further over the railing, to the point Leonard fisted a hand in the back of his shirt to keep him balanced on the right side. “I hear other heartbeats. Bones, I think they're running a prison.”

“Put your feet down,” Leonard said. “What's the plan? They have guns.”

“We have... height advantage,” Jim said, his eyes trailing over Leonard's shoulder. Leonard followed his gaze and saw a defunct power line draped from their roof to the guarded building.

“No.”

“It'll drop us right on the roof. We can sneak in the top and work our way down. They won't expect someone to come in from above-”

“No. Absolutely not. I did not survive Nero to die swinging from a power line fifty feet in the air-”

“Come on, Bones, what other option do we-”

Natsuki walked between them, cutting their argument short. She stalked to the wire, slipped the belt from her pants and looped it over. Hopping up onto the railing, she lifted her feet and swung.

Leonard and Jim ran to the edge, slamming into it to watch her descent. She lighted onto the opposite roof without a sound Leonard could hear, and turned to them. She waved at them, and Leonard shook his head.

“You sure you don't want her? She's amazing.”

Jim pinched him hard in the side, and moved to the line, grabbing his belt. He glanced at Leoanrd. “Coming?”

“Go ahead. I'm right behind you.” Leonard waved him on and Jim slid down the line, joining Natsuki on the opposite roof. Leonard shook his head. “Always will be, kid.”

The slide down the line was every bit as terrifying as Leonard knew it would be. He slammed into Jim at the bottom, who was poised to catch him. They went tumbling to the ground and lay panting, trying to shake off the adrenaline. Natsuki helped them to their feet and they made their way to the access door.

“Where are they, Jim?” Leonard breathed the words as they stood at the door, waiting for Jim to give them the go ahead.

“Basement. At least four floors down,” Jim said.

“Of course. Basement.” Leonard groaned. “Lead on.”

Jim turned the handle and slipped inside. Leonard followed Natsuki and the sunlight blinked away when the door shut. They stood for a moment, letting their eyes adjust, and when they could see with moderate accuracy, they started moving.

By 'moving', he meant starting, stopping, pressing against a wall, feeling Jim's arm holding him in place, and then starting again a few seconds later when the coast had cleared. It was a long, arduous, nerve-wracking trip down the floors. Jim only had to knock out one of the armed men by the time they reached the second basement, and Leonard was able to breathe a sigh of relief.

Jim pushed open the door to where he said Arielle was being kept, and Leonard stepped into a prisoner of war camp.

It was just one giant room, with shackles lining the walls, far enough to prevent the prisoners from touching each other, and every single shackle had someone chained against it.

“Leonard!”

Leonard didn't have time to move, but Jim did it for him, jerking him down the butt of a gun sliced the air where his head had been. Jim threw himself at the guard, dragging them both to the ground until he had knocked the man unconscious and stood with the weapon in hand.

Natsuki had left their side, and now crouched before Ariella, working on her chain lock with a hair pin. Ariella had one hand fisted in Natsuki's long, dark hair, their foreheads touching as they united. Leonard could feel them from where he stood.

“Bones, help me out here.”

Jim tossed him a thin metal rod, needle-like, and nodded at the others in the room staring at him with wide eyes. Leonard grinned and got to work, finally putting to use what Jim had taught him eons ago in Academy. Lock picking.

They had everyone free shortly, and Jim took to the front of the group, Leonard at his side. Leonard moved to open the door, but Jim stopped him with a hand around his wrist. “Wait.”

“Jim?” Leonard glanced at him.

“Someone's-”

Jim never finished the sentence. The door opened, revealing a guard with a gun in hand. He froze, and they froze. Jim moved first, reaching for the gun. Leonard could instantly see he wouldn't be fast enough and threw himself bodily between Jim and the armed man.

The gun went off, drowning out Jim's shout, and the bullet tore through Leonard. He went down hard, hitting the floor with enough force his teeth clacked together. He could already taste blood in his mouth. Above him, Jim soundlessly beat the living fuck out of the the man and left him on the ground to grasp at Leonard with trembling hands.

“ 's okay, 's okay,” Leonard said with effort, wrapping his fingers around Jim's wrist. Jim pressed hard against the leaking wound, trying to keep the blood back.

“Damn it, Bones,” Jim said. “Why did you do that?”

The pain spiked and Leonard gasped, choking briefly before his breathing staggered back into rhythm. “Keep you alive, remember?” he said, hissing when Jim pressed harder. “My job.”

“This is not your job,” Jim said shakily. “Taking a bullet for me is _not_ your job. Jesus.”

“We have to go.” Natsuki crouched beside Jim. “The shot will bring the others. We have to get out.”

“I'm not fucking leaving him,” Jim said. “You go, get help.”

“ 'm all right, Jim, go.” Leonard tried to push Jim away, but he wouldn't be budged.

“Don't even, Bones,” Jim said. “You said you'd always be right behind me. I won't go where you can't follow. Don't you leave me now.”

“Fucking hearing...” Leonard couldn't feel his legs anymore, and a fine tremor shook him to his core. Shock. He was going into shock. Jim's hand pressed to his face and he could barely feel it.

“Stay with me Bones. I need you to stay with me. _Please_. God damn it...”

When Leonard opened his eyes he was back in the desert.

“Great. I'm dead again.” He pushed himself up and looked around. The sun blazed hot on him, heating skin not protected by medical scrubs. Odd that he'd be dressed in hospital wear when he died. “Hello? Snow leopard? Are you going to escort me this time?”

Leonard couldn't see anything in any direction except sand, sand, and more sand. He grunted and picked a direction. The sun was high, there was no way to tell which was east and which was west. Better to keep moving than be burned to a crisp.

Every now and again he thought he heard someone calling his name. He couldn't see anyone, though, so he kept walking. He finally paused, sweat-drenched and panting, and spent the last of his energy cursing everything he could remember.

“Bones!”

He definitely heard that. He glanced up, shading his eyes from the sun, and saw Jim cresting a dune in front of him.

No. No, no, no...

Jim slipped and slid in the sand until he hit flat ground and ran at him. Leonard opened his arms and Jim slammed into him, grasping him painfully tight, as if trying to climb into him. Leonard couldn't help but grab him back. He felt alive, breathing, shaking, and cool sweat on hot skin. He felt alive but if he was here he was dead-

“What are you doing here?” Leonard gasped out.

“I came to get you,” Jim said, burying his face in Leonard's throat. “I won't let you go.”

“You can't be dead. If you're dead then I died for nothing and that is just stupid,” Leonard said. Apparently dying took off the brain-mouth filter. “You have to go back.”

“If I go back you have to come with me,” Jim said fiercely, refusing to relinquish his hold. “I'm going with you, wherever you go.”

“That's not the point of what I did,” Leonard protested. “You're supposed to be alive because I protected your ass. Now... get back to life however you get back there...”

Jim finally loosened his grip, drawing back just enough to look him in the eyes. “I want you with me, Bones. I'm sorry I was such a dick earlier. I was-” He clenched his jaw. “I was scared. About what you'd be giving up. About what would happen if you walked away. Because eventually you'll get tired of me. Everyone always does.”

“Jim, I swear to god,” Leonard said, gripping his arms tightly. “If you don't stop talking like that I will slap you so hard you'll see stars for the rest of your god damn life. You do not get to talk like that.”

“But if it's you I'm not scared,” Jim said, the words slurring together in his haste to get them out. A shy smile crept over his lips. “If it's you, I can do it.”

Something bumped the back of his leg and Leonard looked down. His snow leopard nudged him again, peering up at him. The wolf from his dreams was here too, slinking around Jim's legs to watch him. “Jim...”

“I love you, Bones,” Jim said, his fingers burning Leonard's skin where they touched. Jim took a breath. “I love you. And I will go where you go. Because we're partners.”

“You had to wait until I died to say it?” Leonard laughed incredulously. He shifted his hold, gripping Jim's face in both hands. “I love you too, you asshole. Why else would I put up with all your bullshit?”

Jim tipped his head just so and their lips met, sending heat rushing through Leonard that had nothing to do with the sun bearing down on them. Jim tugged him close, deepening the kiss and sliding their bodies together. Leonard was dizzy with it, the touch of Jim's hands, the corded muscle of his chest, and his scalding heat-

“Breathe for me, Bones. I need you to breathe-”

Jim's voice came from far away, though the words were whispered against his lips. “I am breathing.”

“Come on, I know you can do it. That's it-”

The rush of air burned, and he opened his eyes to once again see the stark white of a hospital ceiling. He coughed, throat irritated by the breathing tube that had been inserted. Shaking, he reached to disengage it and just barely managed to remove it without gagging.

He gasped for fresh air, and turned his head, trying to get a bearing on where he was. Jim sat curled in the chair beside the bed, a swathe of bandages covering his chest and arm. Leonard licked his lips. “Jim,” he croaked.

Jim started awake with a gasp and flailed around the bedside table for the cup of water. He grabbed it with his good arm and helped Leonard sit up to sip at it. He only finished a quarter of the cup when Jim pulled it away. He made a helpless noise, and Jim shushed him.

“A little bit at a time, otherwise it's going to come back up.” Jim set the cup back on the table and climbed into the bed with him. Leonard didn't even have to move. Jim curled around him as if he was made to fit there. He tucked two fingers under Leonard's chin and turned his head gently, pressing his lips to Leonard's.

Leonard accepted the chaste kiss, feeling relief, anxiety, sorrow, and pure joy fluttering in his chest at the touch. He could feel emotions from Jim much more concretely. If he closed his eyes he knew exactly where Jim was, could feel his swell of relief that Leonard was alive. Leonard felt that if he went deep enough, he could submerge himself in Jim's emotions. He would probably never want to return.

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Bones.” Jim breathed against his lips, the words tenuous and shaking. Leonard quieted him, touching their lips and swallowing the apologies.

“If you weren't such a dumbass, I wouldn't love you as much,” Leonard said. Jim answered with a soft chuckle, dipping his face into the curve of Leonard't throat.

“Well done, gentlemen.”

They both started, a mark of how tightly wound Jim was in Leonard, and saw Dr Hein approaching the bed, padd in hand. “You rescued the kidnapped Sentinels and managed to complete your bond. You've both been given commendations from Starfleet, and they've finally agreed to let you partner after seeing your spectacularly dumb heroics. Though, I suppose, that was to be expected of the great Captain Kirk.”

“Excuse me?” Jim sat up, confusion wafting through their bond. Leonard closed his eyes and let it wash over him. This. This is exactly where he belonged.

“Ms Shaw argued your rights to remain on command track while you two were recovering. She bludgeoned the Admirals into admitting you did an amazing job handling the Narada incident, which put you back on command track. And because you were readmitted to command track, the natural progression would be to give you the Enterprise,” Dr Hein said. “Congratulations, Captain.”

“You're shitting me,” Jim said. Leonard twisted his fingers in the back of Jim's shirt, trying to ground him through his disbelief.

“I absolutely am not,” Dr Hein said, a huge smile spreading over his face. “The hand over ceremony is going to be arranged as soon as you are able to handle it. It helps that Pike was fully behind both of you. Dr McCoy, I hope you won't mind being named Chief Medical Officer of the Enterprise, because that's your new title.”

“You're on my ship.” Jim turned to him, glee spilling over the edge of his consciousness. “I have a ship. And you're with me.”

“I'll always be with you,” Leonard said, pleasure suffusing every inch of him. “Always.”

The next week they received their official assignments and celebrated appropriately.


End file.
